An Angel with a Pink Ribbon
by La Sanguine
Summary: Shizuma made her life worth living. Miyuki made her life worth saving. Kaori made their uncertain futures flourish. The untold chapters of the story that bound Kaori, Shizuma and Miyuki together forever, from their first time meeting, to her tragic end. A First Person expansion of the story of Kaori Sakuragi/Episode 17/18.
1. Chapter 1: Kaori

I can tell you everything. Everything that I know. It's going to be a long story.

Shizuma and I...were in the same room in this Strawberry hall since our first year. Three years ago, when the two of us became third year students, I was summoned by the student council. It was regarding some new transfer student.

What am I trying to do? Am I trying to add another character to that story? That story where none of the characters became happy...

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><p>Kaori<p>

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><p>This was the place. Astraea Hill. I only heard about this place a few times, and could never picture it for myself, or comprehend it's true beauty. As I stared outside of the windows of the car I was riding in, I took in the beautiful scenery that I have never been able to experience, the outstretched trees that shaded the rolling grass, the beautiful flowers and elaborate masonry that followed. It was very rare where I was allowed such an opportunity to be so far away from my home, my bedroom. Away from the hospital, and my bed, away from the check-ups, and the testing.<p>

My father told me I was coming here to meet new people, to see if interaction with others my age may help my condition improve. My condition, my barrier to living a normal life, how I've lived with it for so long that I don't even understand what a normal life is anymore. I was never really sure what my "condition" was, and I just don't care what it is anymore, I don't want to know. I don't want to know the name of this thing that makes my life such a monotonous misery. I just want it to go away...

I have this feeling in my heart though...I just can't help but feel that this might not change anything, that I will just be bound to a different bedroom in a location I'm unfamiliar with. Staring up at the ceiling and just simply surviving. Who knows though...what if being here helps me get stronger? Either way, I am going to a different place, with new people there, away from the melancholy of my own room.

I should give this a chance at least...

I was guided to my room by the student council, and they brought my bags over for me, and led me to my room. It had a very comforting but lonely feeling, as they informed me that I was going to be in a room by myself...I hope it's not for very long. I didn't think I would come to such a populated campus to be all by myself in this place.

It would feel too much like home if this was the case...

I got dressed into my new uniform, a very soft set of clothing that had a more relieving feeling than my old clothing. I put my old clothes away, and used this uniform change as my first step into accepting this place as my new home. I spent a few minutes sitting on my bed, without an idea on who would be coming into my room. Unsure what to do next. My body was at peace right now, I didn't feel as heavy and uneasy as I did before I came.

Then I heard a gentle knock at my door, as a girl with hair that was a dark shade of midnight blue, with gentle amber eyes walked into the room. "Hello there, Kaori Sakuragi. I am Miyuki Rokujyo." She looked to me with a welcoming demeanor, as she waited for a response that I couldn't deliver. I didn't know what to say to her yet, and I froze up trying to illicit a response for her.

She walked over to the window, and opened the shades, letting more light into the room for me."Look. You can see the chapel from here." I hesitated for a few seconds, caught in thought about the Chapel, hoping that I could possibly go to it today. "Sakuragi Kaori-san. I know you might be lonely all by yourself in a single room, since you're not used to life in the dorm...but if you have any problems, feel free to let me know."

"Yes" I said, trying to fiddle with words in my head, trying to come up with something interesting to talk about or ask her. "Me and my room mate have been put in charge of your well being here, so you won't be alone 24/7. Do you have any friends back home that you wish to keep in contact with?"

"No." I didn't have any friends back home, I never had the opportunity to meet any. This is one of the first experiences, first opportunities I had to meet anyone. "Well I am sure you will make many friends here, everyone here is very friendly, and they love meeting new transfer students." I smiled in approval, and looked up to her, and she returned the smile to me. "I will be right back Kaori-san, I want to introduce you to my room mate." She let herself out of the room and closed the door behind her, and I made my way over to the chair and took a look outside while I waited for them to come back.

This place is so beautiful. Even if the loneliness settles in, I have Miyuki here. Miyuki. One of the first people that were my age group that I met. Would it be too early to consider her my friend? I can already feel trust towards her building up in me. I know she can be someone that I can rely on when I get sick again. Hopefully I don't get sick today. I don't want to spend my first day on Astraea Hill in my bed, limp and in pain...I want to go outside and feel the fresh air, clean and without any impurities, or synthetic additives. No pipes and tubes anywhere, or cameras and intercoms.

Just nature, something I have desired to experience for so long, that was only a window away, but always was unreachable.

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><p>Miyuki<p>

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><p>"Roomkeeper? We're the only ones who got it?" Shizuma was sprawled out across her bed, books scattered across the room while she pulled her attention away from the one that was in front of her to listen to what I had to say. "That's right." I said, while I cleaned up her mess that she left inconveniently on the ground. "Kaori Sakuragi-san. A new first year student."<p>

Shizuma began to peel herself from the bed and sit up a bit. "Who decided this? What about the lottery?" "People from the student council decided. Kaori-san has been weak ever since she was a child, so...she can't be a normal room-keeper and we decided to be in charge of her." After letting out a sigh, Shizuma crossed her arms and conveyed her disappointment. "We finally got to be third year students, and I was really looking forward to the room-keeper. I was planning on making her work really hard." She flopped lazily back on her bed as an act of disinterest.

I decided to sit next to her on the bed and try to get her to quit being Shizuma for just a couple seconds. "Shizuma, why can't you be more reasonable? They trusted us with this girl. Kaori-san was a sickly child, and she stayed home most of the time during elementary school. In order to make her feel comfortable here at school, they chose us upper-classmen to look after her since they felt we were suited for the job."

I slowly felt her presence rise from slumped on the bed, to slightly hovering behind me. "Miyuki...how come you're being so reasonable?" I recognized the tender tone in her voice and her piercing amorous gaze as she inched up closely to me, awaiting my answer and bodily response to her advances.

"Do you really want to be part of the student council that much?" "In order to be an amazing Etoile, you need strong support from the student council...you understand, right?" She began to creep closer into my territory. "I see...so you think I'm going to be the next Etoile?" "Of course." I turned away in an attempt to divert the advances, which never work when she's in one of her touching moods. "Shizuma..." I muttered out, as she began to rub my face and whisper into my ear. "If you're crying and feeling sad...I have to go to the student council room from now on?"

She makes me feel so weird when she does that, not also counting her embarrassing references to my crying. Pushing her away, I attempt to throw the books at her as she mischievously retreats from the room, successfully evading punishment for another one of her devilish advances upon me. She begins to laugh as I pelt the books at the door in vain, which also makes the feeling of embarrassment vanish almost instantly.

"Baka." There's just something about you that makes you so easy to forgive. I wouldn't have it any other way, Shizuma. You are one of my best friends, and I couldn't imagine my stay here without you.

I joined her in the hallway and guided her towards Kaori-san's room, to introduce her to the girl that is now in our care. I'm not sure how long I was away, I hope she doesn't think I forgot about her.

"Hey Miyuki...why don't you do this by yourself?" "No! They asked both of us to do this. Plus, she's a beautiful girl that you'll definitely like." Knowing Shizuma, there is no way she could say no to meeting a beautiful girl like Kaori. "That's the only thing good about this." she told me, lining up next to me as we neared Kaori's room.

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><p>Kaori<p>

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><p>A knock at my door broke me from my procrastinating stare locked onto the Chapel. It was probably Miyuki and her room mate. "Come in." I spoke, still dreamily enjoying the sounds of nature and life that was pulsing outside of these windows. They both came in, and I turned to see Miyuki's room mate, and upon looking at her, I suddenly found myself entranced just by viewing her.<p>

I couldn't help myself, or look away. She was taller than me and Miyuki, and had the most beautiful silver locks of hair I had ever seen, running in many different directions down her clothes and face, with brilliant spring green eyes that were locked onto mine. There was just something so beautiful about her, I couldn't look away even if I should have at that moment. She outstretched a hand to me and introduced herself to me. Her skin was so gorgeous looking, lush and soft.

She introduced herself first. "Shizuma Hanazono." That name began to ring in my ears and echo everywhere, nesting itself inside. "Kaori Sakuragi." Even after I introduced myself, that dreamy look in her eyes never once moved from mine, locked in a moment where I could not think or comprehend anything beyond this beauty. "Shizuma?""You were right, Miyuki."

"What?" I muttered, breaking from my stare. "You're really beautiful." suddenly I felt something inside of me, something uplifting, revitalizing. It was a strange sensation, that filled me with happiness. I stood up from my chair, holding onto her hand with both of mine. "Thank you very much, Hanazono-sama."

"It's Shizuma...you can call me Shizuma." This feeling never stopped pulsing through my veins, running down my spine, into my feet, and coiling around my heart. It made me so happy. Miyuki Rokujyo. Shizuma Hanazono. These are my new friends. Shizuma though...there was something about her existence that made life feel so much more pure, so much more enjoyable...mysterious. I wanted to get to know them better...to get to know her better.

"So, Kaori-san, what do you want to do today?" Miyuki asked me, something I already had planned out. "I want to go outside. Anywhere outside. Maybe even the Chapel." Shizuma and Miyuki smiled at each other and decided to bring me out, as Shizuma led me outside by my hand. We opened through the dormitory doors, and sunlight from outside poured upon me, an extremely warm sensation that I had missed the moment I stepped out of the car.

"How long have you both been here?" I asked Miyuki and Shizuma, as they walked to the left of me down the pavement ahead of us. "We have been here for 3 years, and we have been room mates since we have met. What about you? How long have you been here?" Miyuki smiled as she asked that question, and we all shared a laugh.

"Do you like it here so far, Miyuki?" spoke Shizuma, and I nodded in approval. "I am glad I came here. To be honest...I thought I was going to be bound to my room without the option to leave...but having you both here makes me feel better...it makes the sick feelings vanish." "Sick feelings?" Shizuma stopped momentarily to look at me. "What kind of sick feelings?"

"It's like I can't breathe, like my body is being crushed. Sometimes I can't stand because of it, can't breathe. It's been a problem my entire life...a burden...sometimes when I lay down, I think I won't wake back up..." Shizuma looked at the ground with a discerned look on her face, but Miyuki put her hand on her shoulder and looked to me. "If you do feel sick at any time Kaori-san, be sure to let us know so we can take care of it." I nodded to them and we continued walking about. I know I can trust these people for sure.

After walking around all day, sight-seeing the different areas around Astraea Hill, it began to get dark, and we returned to the dormitory. I was greeted by a lot of different people, and on the way they asked me a lot of questions that I couldn't answer all at once. Miyuki and Shizuma had to pull me away from crowds filled other students a lot, much to my benefit.

They brought me to their room so they could serve Tea for my first night here. It was against the rules, but they insisted they can normally get away with things like this as long as we were quiet. Unfolding a table and putting a small lamp atop of it, Shizuma sat next to me at the table as we watched Miyuki tend to the tea. "This one is a night-time blend I got from my home...it's a little different than Shizuma's."

Shizuma took a sip of Miyuki's tea. "I've always had my doubts about the Rokujyo family's sense of taste." Miyuki laughed softly at Shizuma's non-serious comment. "You talk big for a Hanazono, following the footsteps of Momoyama." "Our families have the same social standing, Miss."

"But it smells good." I told them, pulling the cup of tea Shizuma was holding closer to myself so I can experience it on my own. I put it to my lips, and took a nice drink, "Delicious" I have never tasted tea before, or have been to a tea party. The acquired taste Shizuma spoke of didn't affect me, for once, I was able to taste something beyond modified and processed juices that were served to me. It was a serene feel on my tongue, that relaxed it and went down cleanly. "You should be happy Miyuki. Looks like Kaori is on your side."

Miyuki shied away slightly, embracing the fact that I enjoyed her tea. "Right...two people agree. Thank you, Kaori-san." "You're welcome." I mentioned, pulling the cup to my mouth and finishing the serving slowly. It was heavenly. "Kaori-san, I think it's time we bring you back to your room. It's getting late." Miyuki said, stacking the cups up and setting them aside, as Shizuma looked up defiantly in my defense, "Oh come on Miyuki, can't she stay just a little longer? We haven't even finished your tea yet." She chuckled, looking onto me. I nodded in approval.

"I thought you didn't like it Shizuma, did the doubts suddenly wash away now that Kaori likes it?" The pair grinned a bit at the comment, and we all giggled a bit. Then I began to feel my energy draining slowly. I never paid any mind to it today, and now I noticed my sudden surge of energy was now depleted that I gained earlier that day, and by body was beginning the slow and agonizing process of becoming it's "normal" self. After I finished my last cup, I tiredly stood up from the table.

"I think I should get some sleep though...today was very nice...but I am tired." I felt light-headed as I stood up, feeling dizzy. Much to my benefit, Shizuma was there holding onto my hand, helping me get completely up on my feet, without me even noticing that she moved from her seat. "Miyuki, I am going to bring Kaori back to her room. I will be back."

"Who said I was just going to stay here? I'm going with you too." Miyuki stated, walking over to the door and slowly and silently creeping it open. "Let's go, there's nobody out here."

I was led on both sides by the two upper-class-men. On my left side, there walked the helpful, caring girl with the midnight blue hair, Miyuki Rokujyo, who never failed to answer any questions I had, and tended to me gently, but didn't look down on me in any way. She was very civil, but nowhere close to uptight, willing to by-pass standards and practices to see me smile.

Walking to my left, with silver phantasmal hair trailing behind was Shizuma Hanazono. She was more laid back, playful and less serious than Miyuki, but had this quality and look about her that made my heart beat stronger and faster than I am accustomed to. I couldn't explain or understand any of the feelings or emotions that floated about when I was near her. Her stare hypnotized me, her touch paralyzed me. And I was perfectly fine with that.

We opened my door and I walked into my room, and sat on my bed "...Thank you for everything today." The feeling of warmth that was resonating in my body was quickly beginning to fade without my permission, as I felt a light layer of sweat begin to form across my body as the muscles in my body slowly tighten up again. "Kaori are you okay?" I heard from in front of me, the two girls staring at me.

"I'm fine, I just need to lay down." Miyuki pulled the covers over me as I lay down in my bed, fluffing up my pillow as I slowly deteriorate from the world and slip into sleep against my will, my eyes struggling to stay open, failing to see past my eyelashes. I felt a hand rest upon my stomach for a few seconds as I looked up, and saw Shizuma again. Almost like she was watching over me until I slipped into sleep.

"Shizuma..." I spoke, my heart beating a bit stronger as I looked up to her. "Sweet dreams...Kaori..." she spoke, as those spring green gems slowly mixed and blended with the darkness of my eyelashes, and my eyes closed.

Shizuma.

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><p>Miyuki<p>

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><p>"Kaori is so cute." Shizuma muttered to me as we returned back to our room, closing the door. "Now are you happy that you decided to take care of her with me? I think I am lucky she is too, otherwise you probably wouldn't have helped me at all, and continued to sit in the room all day, laying on your bed and trying to do your...thing to me." I sputtered, pushing the tables and chairs back to their original settings as Shizuma sat on the bed watching. "The...thing?" she said, a succubus-like grin appearing on her face. "Since when did you lose your ability to describe the things I've done to make you uncomfortable?" I scoffed and turned away, retreating to my side of the room to sit on my bed, "Describing it properly only encourages you to do it more." Shizuma took this as an invitation, and slipped away from her spot on her bed, and then proceeded to invade mine.<p>

"Shizuma, go back to your own bed. I'm too tired to put up with you." Slowly but surely, she began to curl closer and closer to me, with that adamant look on her eyes that reminded me of the one thing I know best about this girl, she doesn't let anything get in the way of what she wants. "Shizuma...I said..." before I could finish my sentence, a soft finger ran across my face and her hand rested on my side. "Miyuki...I'm not in a Leaving-You-Alone mood right now..." she whispered, trailing my ear with her lips as I heard her softly chuckle, continuing to climb over atop of me to keep me in a state of submission.

I wanted her to stop, but I could no longer muster the energy to get her off. To think after putting up with this on so many occasions I have never built up an immunity to her advances. It's partially my fault for not being stern enough towards her, and sometimes even not putting up a fight or a resistance. Slowly enough, I loosened up and laid there, unsure of what to do next. "Miyuki..."

"Shizuma..." I murmured back, watching as her face descended closer to mine, and her hands began to freely explore my body. Her victory was at hand again, but I didn't have any unwanted feelings towards it anymore. Tonight, there was a small spark in my heart that jammed all of my resistance, and I had a small whisper from inside of me...begging her, please come closer, a voice I never heard before...As Shizuma finally locked me into place and readied her lips to touch mine, I waited for the sensation as I closed my eyes...

After a few seconds, when the sensation never came, I opened my eyes and looked up, and I saw that distracted look on her face. "...Shizuma..." I weakly called out, wondering what she was trapped in thought about. Shizuma released her hold upon me and got up, allowing me to regain my freedom.. "I shouldn't keep you up like this...I forgot I need you to get your full night's sleep so we can spend more time with Kaori tomorrow." Shizuma patted my head and got up, returning to her bed and throwing the covers over her as she faced away from me on her own bed.

I wanted to ask her why she stopped, waited for her to ask me why I didn't try to resist her, but the silence of the room never ceased. I decided to turn the lamp off and go to bed myself. I looked at Shizuma from my bed, wondering if she was going to comment on what just happened. Is she confused at all by my change of character? Is she preoccupied with Kaori perhaps? I am not sure. Kaori saved me in a way, tonight. I'm not sure where this would have led, but if it was any normal night I might not have been my normal self.

I shall see what happens tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2: Bonding Hearts

Kaori

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><p>I thought the night was never going to end. The blackness of my room, and the searing misery that injected itself into my spine took it's time eating away at the peace I developed from yesterday. The mysterious feelings of calmness and harmony that charmed my heart were being attacked by my sickness, making me struggle through-out my sleep, as ill-conceived nightmares conflicted with my reflections of the events of today. I wouldn't let them take hold of the night, I was too happy to let agony get in the way of my new-found joy. Before I knew it, my endurance paid off, and eventually the crippling pain I was feeling went slowly away, and faded to nothing, and I could dream peacefully once again.<p>

Dream about the flowers that cover the ground outside, the trees that stretched into the sky to drink the life-giving rays from the sun, that reflected gracefully on locks of silver and midnight blue hair. Miyuki. Shizuma. Declaring them angels would be too underwhelming, they were above that. Something akin to goddesses, both reflecting differences between each other but sharing a core trait that made me drawn to them endlessly. Out of all the people I've met here, they were the most unforgettable. The ones who stood out, the ones to had more of their time devoted to me than my own father, than my medical assistants.

I felt warmth against my skin, a familiar feeling of sunlight. I lifted myself up and had a look around, moving my arms around to get the blood running, and unleashed a soft yawn for air. I heard the rustling of the other dorm mates outside of my door, performing their morning rituals, unaware of my general existence.

"Oh, good morning Kaori-san." spoke Miyuki, who I surprised in my quick awakening, who was sitting at my table waiting for me. "I didn't mean to scare you...I didn't think you were in here until now..." I looked to her and nodded my head. "It's okay...you wanted to wake me up."

"Yes, I came here around twenty minutes ago to wake you up, but you looked so happy just laying there hugging your pillow, I couldn't get myself to disturb you." Hugging my pillow? I looked over to my bed and noticed the position of my pillow had shifted from being at the head of the bed to the middle. "I didn't know I..." Miyuki laughed softly, standing up from the chair. "Where is Shizuma?" I asked Miyuki.

"She's still sleeping in. She tired herself out in the middle of the night...playing games with me and putting things away. I tried waking her up but she shooed me away." I saw a distant look in her eyes, something that implied that playing games wasn't what it actually meant. "Miyuki? Are you okay?" She broke herself from the look and closed her eyes. "Don't worry about me. I was just thinking too hard, that's all. Kaori-san, do you need any towels or shampoo? I can bring you some if you are missing any." I shook my head. "I have some...what are we going to do today Miyuki?"

"I was instructed to bring you your classroom today, and guide you around the school. Shizuma will be coming today as well." "I'm going to take a shower...will you both be here when I get out?" Miyuki nodded. "Don't worry. We aren't going to leave you behind, even if we would be late. You take priority over our classes." That comment made my heart tingle a bit. The energy that I gained from yesterday was back, those little butterflies that uplifted me and made everything feel okay were coming back to revive me, allow me to enjoy my life. I will take my shower, and let the warm water and soap clean away my pain and aches. I won't be anchored by sickness today either. I am ready to live life again.

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><p>Miyuki<p>

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><p>"Shizuma, get up." I poked the side of a heap of covers that lay upon Shizuma's bed, as it groaned and moved a bit. "Have you even taken a shower or brushed your teeth yet? Come on. You wanted me to wake you up, remember? Now get up." The sheets slightly shifted, and I heard a muffled "No" erupt from underneath.<p>

"So you don't want to bring Kaori-san to class, and make me do it instead?" I said, disappointed and ready to just leave her be on her own bed, until the sheets quickly shot off of Shizuma and she stared at me. "On second thought I think I might take a shower now. Is Kaori awake yet? I'll go with you to wake her up..." "I already woke her up 8 minutes ago while you were mumbling and complaining underneath your sheets."

Shizuma looked at me with a mildly disappointed face, as she got up and began marching over to the shower. The feelings that bugged me however, began to float about again, from our encounter that happened the other night. "Shizuma...before you go...I want to know something." Shizuma looked back at me before opening the door.

"...why did you stop?" Silence began to flood the room, and Shizuma stared back at me to as I waited for her to deliver the answer to my question. My heart began to beat a little faster too, as I began to run a couple thousand potential answers through my brain.

"...why didn't you try to stop me?" She said, trying to force me to repeat the events that occurred back In my head, making me blush and turn away. "I...was too tired to stop you this time." Shizuma stepped away from the bathroom, stepping closer to me. "You are lying to me Miyuki. I know what I saw in your eyes when I decided to play with you, and there was absolutely no resistance at all. When I pinned you down, there was a different Miyuki that I have never seen before. You were not yourself." I couldn't say anything in reply, trying to hide my face, trying not to look her in the eyes. Trying not to let her know.

"Miyuki...are you falling in love with me?" My heart began to run on a fever pitch. I began to sweat and my fingers and skin began to lose their feeling, as the room felt unbearably warm. I started to stutter, slowly backing away from her to give myself some room to answer. "Of course not...I am arranged to marry someone else when I leave St. Miator. I would not be able to handle the heartbreak of having to leave somebody behind when I graduate. I don't want to allow someone into my heart only to have to push them out a couple years later..."

I then remembered my fate I was bound to when I had to leave this school. This beautiful place filled with friends of all sorts and all the freedom in the world...would soon be taken away as I take a husband of my family's choosing, and then proceed to bear him children. Some days, I wish I hadn't lied about being okay with this. Some days I wish I was never part of this family. I wanted the freedom of choosing who I wanted to share my life with, to where I was going to live and what I was going to do.

"I could never see the logic behind that...instead of taking the hand of one you truly love, you turn them away to take the hand of somebody you have no feelings for..." I scoffed at her, turning my head away sharply and stomping to the other side of the room. "If I don't...what would become of my sisters? I would love to remove this burden of myself, after all, my parents sent me here to 'fix' me. They want to fix me so I can take this man and then take control of the family, become it's face for the world. the only ones left are my siblings to take this burden, and it would be heavier upon them than it is for me because they are younger. I wouldn't want to place all of this despair upon them when I am the one who should bear it. As much as I hate this fate, the only way I can free myself from it is to let someone I care about inherit it instead..."

"Your dilemma went deeper than that. While I observed the plant that I could see above, I could never see the roots, or how far they dug down." Shizuma began to approach me, stretching out her arms to embrace me, and I backed away slightly. "If my problem was trivial like being afraid of what my family would think I would have solved it ages ago, Shizuma. My sisters, and their lovers, will suffer in my place if I am to relinquish my responsibilities. I don't want to ruin their lives for something that was my responsibility to begin with." Shizuma came within my zone, ignoring my tension and resistance, cradling me in her arms. I was reluctant to accept her affection, I did not want these feelings to be born, only to send them to their deaths when it's no longer fair to keep them.

"The Miyuki I see here, the one I am holding in my arms, is the one I want to remain. The one I want to keep forever, against my chest and in my heart. I don't want this Miyuki to take a masked life, unhappy and pursuing a future of loneliness and sorrow." My endurance to her embrace was fading. Her words were so soothing, so refreshing, and how I wished, how I desired for things to be different. The tightness of my arms ceased, and I opened up again. Feeling this, Shizuma pulled me closer, rubbing the back of my head with her hand, running her fingers down my hair. "...Miyuki...you can always open your heart to others a little. While you may not be able to marry them or live with them for the rest of your life...it doesn't mean you can't share your heart with them, and let them know you care deeply for them..."

The feelings that sparkled gently within my heart that night began to swell deeply inside of me, fighting with the realistic thoughts that rooted deep into my heart, that fought away any emotion that would possibly hurt me in the future. There was a war being waged inside of me, one side that fought for the future I wanted so badly, and the side that wanted to keep away the fantasies that the false future presented. Shizuma lifted my face up with her finger, wiping away the tears that poured from my eyes. "My little Miyuki...so prone to shedding tears...tears I would happily wipe away regardless of what any man would say. Today is going to be fun...don't let yourself get down over something like this."

The weight within was lifted by your touch, by your words. I could see why so many girls here flocked to you, why their hearts beat loudly and tears flowed powerfully over the mere existence of you. I thought it was solely due to your looks, but how I was wrong. There was something so much more under all of that pretty skin and gorgeous hair, something that everyone wished existed in bountiful amounts. Everyone wants a Shizuma of their very own.

Even me.

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><p>Kaori<p>

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><p>I turned off the faucet to the shower, and covered myself with my towel. I pulled my soft uniform from my dresser, slipping into it arm by arm, collecting the clothing I needed to get ready for my next day here. While I was sitting at my table looking for my hair ribbon, I heard a knock at the door, and I invited them in.<p>

"Sorry we took so long Kaori-san." Miyuki and Shizuma walked into the room, smiles on their faces, ready to respond to any input I requested from them or any questions I had. "...I can't find my hair ribbon.." I weakly spoke, trying to recall where I might have put it. Miyuki smiled, and pointed to my head.

"It looks a bit wet." They both giggled, as I pulled the soaked ribbon from my hair, stringing it out to get the excess water out. "I swore I remembered taking it off before I went in.." "Don't worry, we all forget sometimes. Do you want help with your hair Kaori?" Spoke Shizuma, picking up a brush and setting me down at my desk. "I love your raven black hair, it's very rare to see the color strain so pure without the use of dye.." She gently pulled the bristles of the brush through my hair, sliding a finger down every strand to push any extra water out. "Raven black?" "Yes. Some hair I've seen was black, but in the sun or light, you would see slight shades of brown, red and other colors in it. It reflects a different color. However, yours does not. It's pure, it's solitary." I closed my eyes and let Shizuma modify and clean my hair at her whim. I admit, I didn't do a very good job of fixing it up today, but from how it felt as she pulled and twisted it in different places, she knew what she was doing.

"Shizuma, do you do this with your hair every morning too?" I heard a light sigh, "Yes, admittedly, having a lot of hair means doing a lot of work to keep it right. If you don't take care of it, it begins to lose softness and feel, and will begin to fall out or shrivel if left unkempt." She lifted the back of my hair up a bit, taking my luminous pink ribbon, and tying it on. "Your hair is beautiful too Shizuma...I wish I could have hair like yours, extremely elegant, soft to the touch and strong...It's more work than I can do by myself though..."

Miyuki placed a hand on my other shoulder, handing me a mirror so I could look at myself, seeing all three of us in the mirror. My hair was absolutely perfect. "Even Shizuma needs my help fixing all of that hair in the morning, she can't do it all by herself, and I am willing to lend a hand." I turned around and embraced the both of them with a smile on my face. "Some day, I hope I can grow my hair long. Raven black locks that stretches out to the world, just like Shizuma's. Beautiful soft hair, that would enchant the hearts all around me, and I would always have the both of you to help me with it."

Shizuma nodded, and looked to Miyuki. "Whatever you decide to do Kaori, we will be by your side to guide you along, to help you. We will be there even beyond forever, if you needed it." Miyuki grabbed my hand, and Shizuma followed. "You have a special place in both of our hearts, and we will make sure that you get the full enjoyment out of this school." This warmness in my heart finally reached the point where it filled my entire body. Being around the both of them made me feel invincible. Begone disease, begone sickness. You will no longer encumber me. I am going to spend my days happy and healthy, vitality searing through my veins, as I share my heart and life with two of the most beautiful people in my life.

I could even consider them my real family if I wanted to. I wasn't to be left out either. "Miyuki...Shizuma...I want you both to stay this happy...I will try my best to assure that these feelings, these experiences, stay with us forever...I promise." The tightness of their grip on my hand increased, as they both smiled, a glimmer appearing in their eyes. "Well now, we should go to class now, shouldn't we?" I nodded in approval, and we left my room and made our way to the school.

I will not be held down, I will rise up and live my life. I am so happy right now. Miyuki, Shizuma. I hope these days never end. I will make sure these days never end. I know...that these days will last forever. This I swear.

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><p>• Authornote: Chapter 3 should be ready by 1-8-12. Do you have to warn the readers that you do not own Strawberry Panic and it's related properties every chapter, or is it just an obligatory thing people do? I'm pretty sure you all know I do not own this franchise or it's characters. So I will warn you only once.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3: Limerence

Kaori

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><p>My first day at my old school was a vague experience, one I don't remember by heart. It was a long time ago, and it wasn't very memorable. Everyone's faces blended together. I never got the opportunity to talk to anyone, or learn anything from it. I was always so sick and weak that I needed to be watched every minute. It was almost like I was being strung along like a weak puppy, pushed or placed where I was supposed to be, instead of being able to walk there myself.<p>

Things are changing now, as Shizuma and Miyuki lead me down these burgundy hallways, decorated with the sunlight pouring through the windows, with the smell of cherry blossoms circulating through-out it. When that door opened, Miyuki prodded me slightly from behind to get me to walk into class, to see everyone there and meet the teacher. I introduced myself. "I am Kaori Sakuragi. I am a first year student here..." was all I could manage to say. Even though I was able to open like a book to Miyuki and Shizuma...it was very difficult for me to talk to a wall of faces I have never met before. I shyly made my way to the seat I was assigned, trying to endure the eyes that were laid upon me, scanning me out of interest and curiosity, desiring more information about me. Then, when Shizuma walked through that door to talk to Sensei, I heard the entire class almost rise up in clamor. "Shizuma-sama!" "Hanazono-sama!" "Shizuma-sempai!" many other names began to be gabbed by many of the blushing girls in the class, as they wooed over her pleasant entrance into the classroom.

"The student council has given me the task of taking care of Kaori Sakuragi, and assuring any needs she has are met. I hope you don't mind my presence here in the classroom." "Yes, I don't mind Shizuma. Feel free to take a seat next to her as we go over the introductions." She stayed with me entire time, helping me with my practice work and keeping me company. On a regular basis I began to hear random gossip and speculation about my connection with her. Words like 'girlfriend', 'lover', and 'sweetheart' appeared very frequently, which made me blush every time I heard the words. Shizuma must have gotten used to it to the point where she pays it no mind.

When lunch time began, we met up with Miyuki again and sat down next to each other. "Miyuki, why didn't you join us in the classroom?" Miyuki shuffled some papers in her hand, pulling my seat out so I could sit in it. "Having two helpers addressed to one girl would be overdoing it. I think you are more than capable of aiding Kaori-san by yourself for a few hours, right?" "So what were you doing then?" Shizuma said, looking at the papers in Miyuki's hands, attempting to pull one out from her clutch. "I was getting information on the Étoile election...you were still planning on running with me...weren't you Shizuma?"

This was a new term I have never heard of before."What's an Étoile?" I asked them. "It's one of our students who has been elected by the student body to represent all 3 schools of Le Rim, Miator and Spica. Two people are elected to obtain this status and they watch over the schools and cooperate with the presidents from each school." An Étoile. Someone of a very highly regarded rank, a star in a more literal meaning...two people combine their efforts together to manage and oversee the schools...

"The both of you would make perfect Étoiles." I said to them, finishing what I took of some of my food, taking my medicine box from my bag to take my daily dose. "...Kaori...I didn't know you took medications too..." Miyuki said, offering me a cup of her water upon seeing me unlatch the box. "I don't think any of it really helps. I have taken these pills for many years, and have always felt the same. I don't think they help anymore, but I don't want to stop taking them just in case I do get sicker..." How I wished I didn't need these anymore. While taking them is a forgettable and unimportant ritual I repeat every day, I could save time in my life devoting these few minutes to doing something else.

We left the cafeteria and walked out to the courtyard, to sit underneath a tree that Shizuma enjoys looking at from time to time. "Miyuki...Shizuma...how did the both of you become friends? When did you meet?" Miyuki started with her story first, snuggling closer to the both of us as she looked up at the sky, watching leaves blow and dance in the wind. "When I was first sent here by my parents and entered Miator, I was placed in a room with Shizuma. When we first met each other, we really didn't know what to talk about...well, I guess I could say I never knew how to reply to anything she said. I was shy around her a lot, but she said she liked that over somebody who adored her and wouldn't stop talking to her. Everyone wanted to be Shizuma's room mate, and when they figured out that her new room mate would be me, many other girls in the academy wanted my spot in Shizuma's room, and constantly asked me and bothered me about it. Finally, when Shizuma decided to speak up, she told everyone in the dorm at the cafeteria that the only girl she wanted to share a room with was me. Every since then, we have never had a room change or been separated."

"You should have seen her Kaori. She was so tiny and cute, she was always tearing up, sniffling and being surprised when people would talk to her. She was so fun to play with at night because she would squirm around going 'noooooo' when I would raise my hands over her. It was so adorable." Shizuma laughed as Miyuki turned away, blushing uncontrollably. "Shizuma is exaggerating all of that. All girls have that experience when they first join a dormitory-based school and they are all alone." Shizuma raised an eyebrow and peered over to Miyuki with a cat smile on her face. "You fell asleep in my bed, snuggling up to me your first night here because you were afraid to sleep alone." Miyuki's eyes widened, her face turning bright red as she covered it with her hands and hid away. "Why must you embarrass me like that in front of Kaori, Shizuma? Nothing of the sort ever happened...I never did that..I...just...no!"

I laughed with Shizuma as Miyuki attempted to hide her cute embarrassment face from us. "So this is the fun to be had with having a room mate..." Shizuma lightly padded my head. "Don't worry Kaori-san, even if you don't have a room mate, we can bring you into our room so you can enjoy our company. If we can't do that, I'll sneak into your room, and bring Miyuki with me, so you can watch her snuggle up and hug me in the darkest, stormiest night." "Shizuma! No!" We stayed under that tree almost the entire day, just having fun and talking about their experiences at the school.

It started to get late, and the sunset began to flood the sky with beautiful colors, gradually covering the once blue sky with beautiful shades of magenta, red, fuchsia and goldenrod yellow. Me and my friends sat next to the tree, watching it spread across the horizon without saying a word. Just appreciating it for what it was.

Shizuma got up and looked down to us. "I remembered...there is somewhere I need to go. I'll meet you in our room later." Miyuki attempted to get more information from her, for she was as surprised as I was. "Where are you going Shizuma?"

She didn't say anything for awhile, letting her long hair obscure the expression on her face. "There's a feeling in my heart...that I have never experienced before until now...and I don't completely understand it...I think I need some time alone to decipher it's origin..." Then, Shizuma began walking away, her silhouette begin obscured by the trees and descending shadows that they cast, until we could no longer see her.

I thought about the comments that were mentioned in class, and wondered if this new event had any link to them. Secretly, I wanted this to be true. I wasn't sure if it was allowed, or encouraged, but I wanted somewhere safe to develop this sensation. I wanted...something more that I could not put into words. "...Miyuki...everyone is okay with...you know...two girls falling in love here...right?" Miyuki blushed, looking upwards at the stars that started to form directly above us. "It's strange to think so many girls are sent here, so that their attraction for others of their own gender would be extinguished...only to find this place is a secret paradise for them to share their love with others.." Sent here to have their attraction extinguished...did that mean this was supposed to be a reform school? "...Astraea Hill...is a reform school?"

Miyuki shook her head. "No, that's just what outsiders are told about this place...and it's a secret that all of us students will carry with us. This place was intended as an academy that was supposed to train young girls into becoming sophisticated, straight and mannerly, to 'fix' them and rid them of these thoughts, these feelings for other girls. Many families, such as mine, cannot have their lineage continue if their daughters refuse to take husbands, so they send us here so that when we graduate, we can do as we are told and continue the legacy. If not for that, their pride and fear of what the outside world encourages them to send us away here...

...how happy I am that, instead of being forced to relinquish something that is a core part of me...that they openly accept it, under the condition that I keep the facade up so others like me can experience this beautiful heaven for themselves. If outsiders learned that this places was the complete opposite of a...'straightening' school, parents would never allow us the pleasure of ever coming here. The staff understand our plight, having to live through it themselves, to the point where they took control of this school afterward, and completely changed it so the next generation could choose how they wanted to love, and be introduced to a non-hostile learning environment...free of judgment or prejudice..."

As Miyuki began to explain this school to me, I reflected upon my own origin and manner of joining this school, and thought about all the other students, and how they joined here. This place was a precious gem, something sacred, something holy. "My father...brought me here telling me it would be a better experience for me...that maybe I would get healthier as time came along, that maybe that being around other people my age would cure me...when in all honesty I know why exactly he wanted me to come here..."

Miyuki looked at me with concern, holding my hand. "You don't need to say it Kaori-san...I understand." I tightened my grip on her warm hand, as I prepared to admit the truth to myself. I knew why I was here. I knew why things didn't seem right as he brought me here.

"I am Kaori Sakuragi. I was brought to Astraea Hill, not because of my orientation, not because of my family name, but because of my health condition. My father, losing hope in my recovery, decided it would be easier on him to hide me away at a different living area...so he can continue living his life. He could not resume his hobbies and meeting his friends because he was taking care of me by himself. What turned to devotion then became routine, which slowly dissolved into burden. Every day, when my dad woke up to see me, and see that my health had not improved...he began to lose faith. Sometimes, when he thought I couldn't hear, he would pray to God that...I would be taken to heaven...because he couldn't stand never knowing when I would pass away...when I would get better...if I would ever get better...

My own father...was praying I would die...

Whether or not it was because he couldn't cope with my condition...because he thought I would be happier...or because I was a lifelong burden to him...I do not know...

what I do know is that I did die. Not physically...but on the inside...a small light within myself was erased as I continued laying on that bed. Staring outside...wishing...wishing I wasn't here anymore...that I was outside..." My voice was cracking as I felt myself beginning to sting on the insides. I don't want to hold this in anymore. I don't care how much it hurts to admit this to myself...it needs to come out...

"Some days...I wished I was dead too. I would pray to God that he would take me away. I had fantasies about death...how I just wish I could stop living...how when I closed my eyes at night, the darkness that followed stayed there forever...I had no life...to live...I had no friends...no loved ones...no future...what kind of life _could_ I pursue bound to a bed, taking medications and sleeping..." I clenched my eyes closed as my grip tightened on Miyuki's hand, as the coldness in my spine began to make me shiver, and I could no longer hold back the tears. The only things I could feel was the misery that built up, pushing it's way through my body, trying to explode outwards, and the warmth that Miyuki gave off as she held me close.

"Everything was so bitter tasting. A deathly silence or the humming of medical equipment was all I could hear. The lights so bleak and lifeless. Everything smelled like stale dust, like catacombs. Everything I touched I could no longer feel, my fingers were numb, like they weren't even there. Nothing I could see was beautiful. It was distorted, mutated into a horrifyingly sad form. I was surrounded on all sides by figures I knew nothing of and cared nothing for..."

"...Then my father and my assistants loaded me into the car, after telling me about Astraea Hill. He only talked to me a little, never admitting to me that he wanted this to be the last time we would see each other. I went along with it all, just staring bleakly at everything that passed by...ready to be bound to a different hopeless cage...

...and then I met you Miyuki. I met Shizuma...I met the both of you, who devoted more time to me in a day...than a hospital and my own parents did in a life time..."

Finally, the pressure within me exploded. It reached it's brim, and I could no longer hold back my emotions, I could no longer control my limbs, or the searing pain within, or the sorrow that flooded through. I dug myself into Miyuki's chest, clinging to her as I screamed out and cried to her.

You are my angels, you are my saviors. I can't think of living without you both. I never want to lose you. I cried until I couldn't open my eyes. I cried until my fingers lost their grip. I cried until I had no energy left. I cried until I couldn't stay awake anymore...

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><p>Shizuma<p>

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><p>"...Is she going to be okay Miyuki?" I knelt into the grass and sat next to Miyuki, who held Kaori in her arms, running her hands through the raven hair of a broken girl that lay in her lap, fast asleep from how powerful her confession was. "Her emotions were released so forcefully, that it took all of her energy out...she cried uncontrollably for almost half an hour until she fell asleep..." To think such a small quiet girl, would be holding so much inside of her.<p>

"Her father originally registered her here because he didn't want to take care of her anymore. Whether the reasons were because he was afraid of the day he would see her pass away, or because he just didn't want to waste his time anymore, her reason for being here is hurtful on it's own..." I looked down at her, the linings of her eyes a faded shade of pink from how much she cried, dried tear remnants painted across her face, as she inhaled shallow breaths, small delicate fingers clinging to the tear-soaked uniform of Miyuki.

How many years has this been building up in her? How long did she have to wait to find somebody to unleash this confession upon that would understand it? It's maddening, heart-breaking to think she withheld this for so long, waiting, wishing for somebody to listen...

I lifted Kaori up with care, tenderly pulling her closer to me so I could hold her for myself, cradling the sleeping girl in my own arms so Miyuki could rest her own. "...we mean the world to her..." I spoke, feeling her shift in her sleep as she murmured an inaudible sentence. "Shizuma...what was the real reason you needed space? What I thought you might have needed to reflect back on...would have been something you could have done right in front of both of us..." Miyuki beckoned, seeing an answer to a question that we have yet to cover.

"Some people are naturally more comfortable letting out their true feelings, or feelings sealed deep within their soul, when they are in pairs. I could tell Kaori wanted to let something out, and she couldn't do it with another person around. Even though she is comfortable around both of us, it was the fact that there was only one person around that triggered the spark inside...that allowed her to finally get all of that grief out of her system..."

After all Miyuki, you would know about this too. When I approach and pester you around the school, you can easily reject me and run away, regaining your composure quickly. When we are alone, even when you have the most obvious exits around, you are more docile than normal, more receptive to touch and more willing to allow certain feelings to be experienced.

"It's getting cold outside...and are curfew is inching very closely..." spoke Miyuki, looking to me for a decision on what to do next. I picked up Kaori and carried her in my arms, carrying her back to the dormitory as Miyuki opened the doors for me and guided me along. Kaori only shifted in her sleep a few times, being aware that she was moving, but never breaking her sound slumber, mumbling in an adorable voice as she grabbed onto my shirt. We approached our hallway, and Miyuki began to walk towards Kaori's door.

After noticing I was no longer following, she looked back out of confusion "What are you doing Shizuma?" I looked to our room's door, trying to see if Miyuki would catch on. "...I see." Miyuki walked back and opened the door, as I brought Kaori inside.

I laid Kaori down, pulling my pillow under her head, and both me and Miyuki dressed ourselves into proper sleepwear and set aside our uniforms. "She shouldn't be sleeping in her uniform..." I spoke, loosening the edges of the black garb and attempting to pull on it..."Shizuma stop...this doesn't look right, and it doesn't feel right...what if she wakes up? What if somebody walks in?" Miyuki stood behind me, conveying her opposition to what I was trying to do. "Even if you doubt my intentions Miyuki, I assure you, I am not doing this to pursue a more illicit night...I have no desire to seduce anyone tonight...now bring me one of my gowns." Miyuki walked over to my drawer, murmuring in a low pitch. "Why don't you just...wake her up and get her dressed that way?"

I don't know why I don't want to do that. It would be simple, and it wouldn't be able to be construed as an attempt of me taking advantage of her, or caving into sick lustful emotions or perverse curiosity. I really should just wake her up, and let her dress herself. That isn't something I want to do though...I want to dress Kaori for myself, it's what I set my heart on, and I don't care if the entire school walks through that door. The most that will happen is gossip, some sanctions for breaking a couple rules, and the endless waves of girls to follow who would envy Kaori for encountering me in this manner. I could probably have sex with this girl right now and nobody but Miyuki and a handful of staff would question my actions...when it comes to what I do, my 'fan club' would support every action I do. I am their 'onee-sama', a word that has lost all value to me. I grow sick of hearing it so much.

I began to pull Kaori's uniform off, as she lightly fidgeted around in her sleep. I had to be careful. I stretched my arm out to Miyuki, and she handed me my gown that I was going to pull over her when I removed her uniform. Slowly, inch by inch, it began to come off. I looked at her stomach, her arms, her chest. In comparison to mine, her skin was so pale, so sickly, but pristine.

"...Shizuma..."

I feel like I cheated for some reason, to see this young beautiful girl upon my bed, wearing only her underwear, completely unaware of anything I am doing, or feeling, or any of my intentions...I swear, I have no ill intentions for you, I only wish that when you wake up, that you do not ache, or have creases upon this beautiful skin of yours from sleeping in that stale black uniform...

"Shizuma."

You are so beautiful Kaori. I feel wrong for reasons beyond me. I have become so accustomed to undressing girls, that it doesn't phase me anymore. Not tonight. I feel like I am destroying a sacred artifact, learning secrets that are forbidden to humankind itself...I should not know the color of your underwear...I should not know the shape and size of your breasts...I should not know the feel of your skin...I should not know how you look underneath your clothing at all...I should not-

"Shizuma!"

I broke out of my thoughts, regaining my composure as I regained feeling and awareness, realizing Miyuki has been trying to break me out of trance for almost a minute now. I still held my gown in my hand, and I decided that since I made it this far, I really have to put it on her now. I felt lost for a couple seconds. I looked back to Miyuki, who gave me the look. The look that conveyed everything without having to say a word. I nodded to her, and looked back down to Kaori, and her eyes began to open...

...Oh no. Oh God...what do I do?

Her eyes fully opened as she looked at me, and looked at herself, not moving from her position on the bed. Slowly breaking from her sleep and becoming aware of where she was. Miyuki shared my horror, but couldn't say a thing, instead just locking in place with eyes wide open.

My heart was beating rapidly, pumping blood everywhere through-out my body as it went on a state of red alert. Sweat poured down my head and my fingers turned ice cold. I couldn't even explain myself to her, I instead, paralyzed in place, hoped that she wouldn't react negatively to any of this. "Shizuma...I'm cold..." She whispered...looking at me, waiting for my reaction.

The look of fear, or the look of paranoia that I was looking for in her eyes was absent. I had no idea what was going on. Why wasn't she questioning any of this? Why wasn't she concerned? She lost all energy a few hours ago during the day unleashing a heart-breaking secret, and now she woke up, she is wearing almost nothing in somebody's room, with me hovering over her. Her eyes showed me feelings of waiting, of patience, of longing, not rejection, confusion, fear or hysteria...

I broke from my paralysis, and placed the gown upon her, as she let me slide her limber arms within and pull it over her, covering her cold shivering body with my sizable garb that didn't quite fit. "Goodnight...Shizuma..." she spoke, turning her head to the side and falling asleep there soon after, leaving both me and Miyuki staring at her in utter confusion.

After twenty minutes passed, I found myself laying next to Miyuki on her bed, the both of us staring at the ceiling, momentarily looking back at Kaori, slumbering on my bed. "We should be glad that it worked out so...strangely." I mentioned. "I think Kaori kind of knew...that you would never do something of the sort to her...I was worried about the glimmer you had in your eyes when you first undressed her, but Kaori had more faith in you than I did..." Miyuki paused for a second. "Not saying I don't trust being in the same room as you...It's just...you looked so amorous..."

"It was a major challenge to my self control. It made me nervous thinking about it. As simple of a situation as it was, there were a couple thousand things running through my mind in that single minute...this was one of the first times...that I had to resist my impulses, impulses that are so powerful that even I can't tell myself to stop." Miyuki shifted away from me, turning to the wall. Probably because when I speak of impulses, when I speak of staring at someone, desiring them, she thinks of our many encounters. My many lustful conquests of her bed, chasing her around and locking her down. Many times where I pressed my hands against her heart and stood behind her, whispering into her ear to test her endurance to my words. Many times where she was broken, wishing for me to continue to take my rewards, but I never did. I was always just teasing her, playing with her, but never pushing for checkmate even when a single movement would grant me her body and her heart.

Every since Kaori came into our lives, a whole new level was added to this labyrinthine stretch that I call my heart...a younger student, divided completely from Miyuki. "Shizuma...do you like Kaori?" Miyuki asked me, trying to break the silence between us as we lay there in the fading light of the lamp. "Well...she doesn't chase me around, crying out "onee-sama", or let silly school-girl crushes define her behavior and beliefs. She doesn't dream about falling in love with a pretty girl taller than her, to be swept from her feet and carried off in front of all of her friends, or to speak of a night she shared with the girl every girl wants. Instead of her being drawn to me and desiring to know and learn, I am drawn to her, seeking her emotions, her memories, her feelings. Any affection she offers me is a sacred jewel, heralded above others. The only people she cares about are you and me, she has no ulterior or childish motives in mind when she says she wants us to stay with her forever. She is a small, delicate girl that I want to protect forever, to keep safe."

After Miyuki accepted my response, I broke the silence myself. "...now tell me, Miyuki...do you like Kaori?" Miyuki slightly blushed, but made no attempt to hide it, taking a deep breath instead. "I used to think of her as a little sister, trying to take care of her and make her smile, making her feel comfortable, safe and aware of everything that goes on. Slowly though, it feels like...she's indirectly prodding it to something more. Many of the things she says, many of the things she does, draw me to her in a different way. Not in a protective sibling way...It's difficult to make into words...it's a feeling that is different than the one you and me share...but it feels the same..."

"...Miyuki...don't forget what I told you...you can always open your heart a little bit. You don't have to be her assistant all the time...if she wants you to be closer to her...open up to her. It would do more for her than anything else you could do in your role as assistant." I laughed quietly to myself as I remembered one other thing. "You never know, she might someday snuggle up to you because she doesn't want to sleep alone." Miyuki smiled at the comment, and turned away from the wall to face me again.

"I would get mad at you...but I don't feel like it tonight..." I turned to her, playing with her bangs, brushing them out of her face. "Shizuma...I have a feeling things are not going to be the same after tonight...now that so much has changed. We are stepping away from the world that composed of only you and me. Soon enough, we will have another to share it with, so this might be the last night that this will be appropriate..." Miyuki's voice had a different tone, and it's motives were unclear to me. She wasn't as easily readable at this moment, making me wonder what she wanted. I moved up slightly so I could face her better, to try and read her emotions and preemptively detect what she wanted to say. "...what would be appropriate Miyuki?"

The moment I finished that sentence and I blinked, a flash of midnight blue hair fluttered across my vision, and a pair of lips were locked onto mine. Miyuki's hand cradled the back of my hair tightly, pulling my mouth deeper into hers, as she drew me closer and closer to her. She dislodged me from the side of her bed and atop of her, absorbing the breath in my lungs into hers as I began to feel her rapid pulse striking the tips of her fingers. After the strength she gained to deliver this kiss to me began to recede, she locked me in place, looking to me with lovesick eyes to convey her sense of fulfillment and emotional satisfaction.

I knew this wasn't an appropriate time to continue this beyond this kiss, not with Kaori sleeping only a few feet away from us. To return the kiss would take it past a point of no return. I knew that if I gave in to this storm of lust that was swirling inside of me, I would not stop, and to have Kaori awaken to me and Miyuki sharing passion with a crest-fallen grace, tying us together with deep breaths and silent cries of each others names, hands and lips exploring every inch of the others body, that the next world that Miyuki spoke of might never exist, and I would break Kaori...heart, soul and all.

It felt so difficult to reject her, her eyes calling out to me, wishing, waiting, beckoning me to take her. My inner desires also believed the same, straining my body and heart, begging me to take Miyuki now while I still have the chance. There might never be another chance where we can share this bond. This would be the last night, as she said.

I felt myself slowly losing control, as an experience that simulated possession, began to tie me into Miyuki's world. While I mentally attempted to resist it all, my body was struggling desperately to take her and unleash my hormonal desire upon her. As my lips approached Miyuki's, almost like a meteorite descending to earth, I tried my hardest to fight it away. I instead pushed my face into her pillow, locking my hands to her shoulders, shuddering in resistance to this desire. "I can't..." I whispered into her ear.

I felt her squirm forward, pushing her chest against me and grabbing the back of my head, quietly crying out to me, "Please...Shizuma...please..." I could almost hear the strain that I brought onto Miyuki's heart as she quietly, desperately, tried to get me to take her. "I need you Shizuma...I need you before my feelings change too much...please Shizuma...I need you...I want you..." She tried as hard as she could to ignite my spark, to change my mind, to get me to entwine together with her. "I'll be quiet...I swear...I won't make a sound..."

The one night that I witness Kaori release her stress and pain upon the world, I also hear Miyuki beg me to endorse her and seize her body for my own pleasures. The fevers of loss and love that encircled me were too much. I turned away, attempting to distance my eyes away from Miyuki's, to help ease myself into rejecting her advances...

A minute passed, and I still hear her whisper my name, her fingers crawling over my body like spiders, seeking warmth and attention from the girl they desire most. Is this how Miyuki feels when I advance upon her? Is this the same endurance ritual she faces when I do the same to her? Unfortunately for her, I have had more practice in rejecting advances, in controlling my desire for others. While tonight may have been the most difficult challenge, I can safely say that I have avoided the point of no return...

"I'm sorry, Miyuki..." I spoke to her, grabbing a hold of one of the hands that clutched my breast, and pulled it away. It did not return after that, but instead rested at my waist, as another arm coiled around and Miyuki locked herself tightly around my body as I felt her libido slowly decrease, as she admitted defeat from within, the throbbing that originated from her fingers slowing down.

I cannot take you tonight. Not tonight. This isn't the right time. We must wait for another opportunity to where I can properly share this event with you. She never shed a single tear from this, I never felt a wetness seep through my garb either. I think she understood the implications too, and instead of feeling dejected and crying, she just pulled herself to my waist and closed her eyes, hugging me as she drifted into her own sleep, as I lingered by myself in the dark, letting two of my favorite angels escape into their dreams as I awaited my own to rest my weary mind...

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><p>●Authornote: I used Italics finally. Somewhere lost in this chapter. Next chapter will be ready 111/12. Strawberry Panic is very open ended, but I am running out of pairings that I could use that I can relate to. I could try something unpredictable and weird, like Chikaru+Momomi. Justifying the romance would be difficult. I'll save my brainstorming for later. now, I must finish this story. Nobody likes devoting time to reading a story they find out is abandoned by its author later. That always sucks. So if you, reader, have any stories that have readers, that you have forgotten about. Go back to your story and finish it. Dedicated fans everywhere will appreciate it.

●Doublenote: The encounter between Miyuki and Shizuma was more descriptive, but I had no idea if it was M, MA or T, so I reduced my adjectives and noun use and used different words instead. If you are good at understanding censorship meaning to see if the paragraph was okay or not, send me a PM.


	4. Chapter 4: Love and Liberation

Kaori

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><p>I broke from my slumber as I heard footsteps going back and forth outside of the door. Looking around, and noticing I was on a right wall bed instead of a left wall, I noted the surroundings and scattered books. "I'm in Shizuma and Miyuki's room..." So last night wasn't a dream. I recall events from last night, falling asleep near the tree against Miyuki, and the sensation of floating for awhile. Then, I felt fabric being pulled across my skin, and then coldness. When I opened my eyes to see what was going on, I saw Shizuma hovering before me with a burning admiration, eyes burning inside with a wild creature ready to be unleashed. I was in my underwear, and I only a slightest idea of what was going on. I only told her I was cold. She pulled some sleepwear over my head, and I returned to my sleep.<p>

I got out of Shizuma's bed and looked at Miyuki's, where the two girls fell asleep last night. Shizuma laid facing me, still asleep, with her silver hair bunched over her face and over the head of the bed, and right behind her, with arms coiled around her, was Miyuki, snuggling with Shizuma tightly, with a serene smile on her face. It was just the cutest thing ever.

"Good morning Shizuma...Good morning Miyuki..." Miyuki yawned softly and muttered around, only aiming to pull Shizuma closer to her until she felt my presence hovering the both of them, awakening her, as I greeted her with a smile.

"So this is how you look when you cuddle with Shizuma...it's so adorable..." It took a couple seconds for my comment to register in Miyuki's awakening mind. What turned from sleep-induced apathy escalated to confusion, then awareness of her surroundings, and then skyrocketed into a luminescent blush and a quick dive underneath a blanket "Y-You weren't supposed to wake up before me Kaori!"

"mrphmphhh..." mumbled Shizuma as she pulled the covers off of Miyuki and coiled them around herself, exposing Miyuki to me once again as Shizuma expanded in the empty space once taken by Miyuki. I held out my hand to Miyuki to help her off the bed, and she accepted it.

Her hair was a mess, unrefined from her face being mushed into Shizuma's side all night. It looked like she gained absolutely no energy from her sleep at all. "I didn't mean to wake you up just now...if you were still trying to get sleep..." Miyuki brushed the tangles out of her hair with her brush, taking a couple awakening breaths to get her blood flowing.

"Don't worry...all I did was stay up almost all night. I can recover later on today since we don't have school." "Do you think Shizuma is going to wake up any time soon?" I asked, Miyuki shaking her head while poking the sleeping girl in the side, as the words "Mmpph" floated through the pillow as Shizuma covered her face with her own hair, almost like a small toy that activates upon touch. Miyuki poked Shizuma again, "Mmph." then she proceeded to roll over, attempting to keep her sleep active and ignore Miyuki's prodding.

"Well I can't drag her out of bed, out of fear she will get angry at me, and then resume to go back to bed. She probably knows there's no school, and is probably unaware of any plans we have today. Perhaps with you Kaori, we can wake her up somehow..." Miyuki said, sighing. I began to think to myself, pondering a way we can get Shizuma to wake up. What do I know about Shizuma best? What does she like, what is something she cannot say no to? What catches her attention? "...I have an idea..." I spoke, as I felt an impish smile spread across my face as I snuck up to the sleeping Shizuma. Miyuki looked at me with a face filled with wonder and concern, until she caught on to what I might be doing, and then her faced mimicked mine.

I got into position in front of her, and Miyuki lined up next to me, and I took a nice breath, as Miyuki awaited to see what I had planned...

"Oh! Miyuki! Don't put your hands there! You are making me feel all warm inside! Oooh!"

The covers flew off Shizuma almost instantly, her hands ripping them off of her and flying them across the bed, her silver hair whipping like a halo over her head as the tired and sleep-encumbered Shizuma instantly broke from her sleep and regained her ground in the world of the awake, to look at me and Miyuki, and take a few seconds to assess the situation. Slowly, bit by bit, Shizuma realized that the comment cried out aloud by me was but a clever ploy, a challenge to see if it would break her from her sleep.

"...You tricked me." She grumbled, stretching and getting out of bed, but also being enveloped by the light-heartedness of the room, what appeared to be anger was only surprise, and she smiled soon after. "You got me that time Kaori...although I feel a bit embarrassed to have reacted so quickly and eagerly to that comment..." To which, a devilish smile etched itself across Shizuma's face as she looked at me with sinister eyes. "Miyuki, grab Kaori-san's arms, she must be subjected to our very own punishment." Miyuki grabbed me from behind and clutched my arms so I couldn't move, as I looked back and forth, nervously laughing as Shizuma approached me.

"P-P-Punishment?" I spoke, wondering what rule I broke, or what would become of me. Was it serious or a joke? Hopefully I didn't upset her too much. "For deceiving the wise and beautiful Shizuma, you are hereby sentenced to death...by a thousand wiggling fingers...ba ha ha!" Shizuma began to poke and prod my vulnerable and exposed areas with her fingers, the tingly sensations sending chills and twitches around my body, making me giggle and laugh until I couldn't breathe. Shizuma then completed her sentence with a pat on my head, playing with my messy hair and attempting to straighten my hair ribbon while I took a small breather.

"Now Kaori, do you wish to aid me in subjecting Miyuki to her punishment as well, for her status as an accomplice?" Miyuki looked up in alert, as me and Shizuma closed in on the girl as she pulled away and away, trying to negotiate with us "Oh no, I wasn't an accomplice, I was but an innocent bystander! I had nothing to do with this crime!" Even with the scared look on her face, it was all good fun, and we all played along, as Shizuma and I cornered her and Shizuma's fingers began to wiggle and poke Miyuki into a state of submitted hysteria and breathlessness.

What a great way to wake up in the morning. No inhumane silence or lack of emotion in the air, no machines and equipment to turn off, remove or ignore. No tasteless, lifeless air to bumble through my lungs. No smell of processed pre-packaged food to grow old sitting on a small table next to me. Just two beautiful girls with all the time in the world, to join me in fun and happiness.

After Miyuki regained her breath from the execution we enforced upon her, I looked to Shizuma, remembering what unfolded upon me last night when I woke up. "Now Shizuma, for sneaking a peek at forbidden areas, to which I have a very special punishment lined up, just for you..." I said, grinning to her, in which, the smile on her face slowly faded and she looked away, with an insecure look on her face.

"I didn't mean for that to happen...I know I should have woken you up instead...but I just...I...I don't know what came over me..." The fun that Shizuma was having, and the joy that she had radiating from her seemed to be fading, being siphoned out by the events last night, her sense of fun slowly beginning to drain away. I think there was more weight on her heart for what happened last night than I observed. I thought about it too, and I could almost feel it too.

I was stripped, laying on her bed, while she placed herself next to me, hypnotized, entranced. I didn't take the moment into my mind at all, instead, attempting to seek a way to relieve my coldness, to which she promptly supplied clothing. There was something I saw in her that I don't think I have seen before, and while this may be a serious issue for her, I did not want her to despair over it right now.

"Don't worry about it Shizuma-sama, I am not. What matters is that none of us are hurt. We are awake and having fun. I wouldn't have minded anything you did." The words I delivered to her eased her heart, and she regained the calmness, returning to the playful feel of the room again. I truly, have no idea what she could possibly do to me that I would not agree with. As long as it would not hurt me physically or destroy the bond between us, I would accept any actions or thoughts she wanted to put towards me. "So what is my sentence, Kaori-san? What fate do you deliver to me upon swift winds of justice?"

"Since you have appealed to my mercy, instead of an execution, I shall declare you to a lifetime of servitude. Now go forth and find me a pair of nice clothes to wear today." Shizuma grinned and went off to do her sentence, and I played along the part with a satisfied smile slashed across my face. "Miyuki, can you help me with my hair?" I spoke to her, who was now approaching me from behind and undoing my hair ribbon, pulling me into the bathroom to wet it down and fix it.

"I don't really know what to do today..." I spoke earnestly, closing my eyes and letting Miyuki fix my hair, wetting it down with a spray bottle and combing it piece by piece. "We could do nothing together if you wanted Kaori. There's nothing immediate we have to focus on. We can just sit in the room, drink tea and relax...we can even go back to sleep. It's a free day for us." I thought about what I wanted to do, what to plan out. "I...want to find a nice book to read...is there a library?"

"There is, we can take you to it today if that's what you want to do." When Miyuki finished her sentence, Shizuma knocked at the door. "It's raining outside." Miyuki sighed slightly, with a level of disappointment in her speech. "Oh, looks like we better find some umbrellas then." My attention perked up as I thought about rain. I have never had the experience of rain before. Never felt it, never smelled it. I could understand it was a lot like taking a shower with cold water with your clothes on, but there was a whole other worldly environment involved with it...that I wanted to experience.

"Shizuma...Miyuki...I want to know how rain feels."

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><p>Miyuki<p>

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><p>Kaori was in the bathroom with the change of clothes that Shizuma fetched for her, and the both of us were sitting on my bed, staring outside the window as the rain lightly tapped the glass and shimmered outside. "...She's never even felt the touch of rain before..." Shizuma said sadly, retaining the stoic appearance on her face but conveying that she felt sorry for Kaori, and the many experiences that she has never been able to have, that people like me and her take for granted everyday.<p>

"There's nothing to be sad over...we can share these experiences with her, I even think it's making her health slowly recover. She's grown so much from when she first came here, ascending from a sickly silent girl who rarely moved around to a somewhat outgoing, courageous and honest girl. I even think...she's improved aspects of my life too, in ways that I couldn't do with your help or by myself..." Shizuma nodded, looking up to the wall, and looking at the clock, the sounds of rumbling outside releasing a calming feeling within her. "She invokes emotions from within me that I have been so used to ignoring...shyness, concern, doubt, self-awareness...the delicateness of what I say and what I do, making me resist quick and brash actions, to think about the impact they have on other people..." I knew what Shizuma was alluding to, what she was referencing. I touched her hand and felt a small shiver of doubt resonate from it.

"...I forgive you Shizuma...you are my best friend regardless of the hardships we faced, or the turmoil caused from the complications that ebbed in my heart...I know that...we can never be together, and that now, with Kaori as a part of us, a life solely between you and me alone is impossible. It's selfish of me to think that I can push her away for something I would never be able to cradle by myself..." Shizuma looked back to me, the easiness of the situation relaxing her doubts. "You speak of her like she's our daughter sometimes..." Shizuma said lightly, peeking over at the door to see if Kaori is listening.

"I think she's taking a shower right now..." I spoke, as Shizuma looked back to me. "It's only been so long, and you've developed an almost family-like bond with her, like a mother to a daughter..." I took a deep breath, and nodded. "I'm glad that what also happened between us, evading Kaori's vision, won't come between us. I know that all of my advances upon you, have been very traumatizing and difficult to understand...one moment I am beckoning you to let me embrace you, and the other, I am pushing you away hoping you would stop..."

"No Shizuma, it's okay...I don't want you feeling guilty about that. It's in the past, and that was the last night that I could act upon those feelings. It's a new future now...and there's something else weighing heavily upon my heart..."

Shizuma moved closer to me to sustain an easier distance to listen to me at, for my voice took a dive, and began getting quieter than it normally would. My heart was beating more strongly than before. I felt a wave of tears readying themselves for the emotions I may or may not release. "Kaori was a breath of fresh life into my world. In the previous life I had, with the future to come...I knew that I could not take you with me, because not only would my family chase you away so I could manage the estate and take on their issues, while also aiding my future husband in being in charge, but because you aim to pursue a life with more freedom and adventure than mine. To bind you to a mansion you don't own, with servants who are not allowed to serve you, with a husband to fight you away and threaten you for your normal interactions with me, would be unfair to you. I would not want you to live such a life..."

"Miyuki... don't say that you would be binding me to a life I would not want...I would happily join any aspect of your life, regardless of how restrictive and prison-like it was...the only obstacle is, as you said...would be your family. If not for that, I would stand adamantly by your side through-out it all..."

"Sometimes though...I think to myself that, even with the following guilt that would be afflicted upon me if I ever did abandon my family, and run off with somebody else...if Kaori was by my side, the guilt would slowly fade away..."

"...So Kaori is a the key to your heart...as well as mine..." The key to her heart as well. While it was obvious before, I can safely assume now, that Kaori has done something wonderful to Shizuma's heart, and that Shizuma's status as caretaker and assistant may be shifting to something more. Shizuma nodded and closed her eyes, conveying a message to me that I knew the answer to, and never needed to say. This beating in my heart should not be held idle forever. If I am going to stay here, I must not let it vanish. I must act upon it, set it free, to choose the one it beats for...

"I have admitted it to myself awhile ago Miyuki, and you already know my heart beats for her...can you admit it to yourself as well?" Shizuma called to me, trying to lure my true feelings out of my heart, that even I resisted to unleash. I don't know why I opposed this. I am not used to admitting things to myself, and instead prefer to feel them at my own whim...but I knew it must be done.

I couldn't be shy or silent, or hide behind excuses.

Shizuma could see me trembling, as I still conflicted with my inner barriers, trying to word the feelings that were deep inside that I desired to release. Slowly, and surely, I began to formulate them into words...

"My heart beats...for Kaori. The thought of her being happy, makes me happy...I never thought I could feel so strongly about someone I have only know for a few days...I want to encourage her to live her life, to guide her through the experiences she should have shared with somebody that cared for her...to think she was sheltered, locked away, repressed in such a sad environment breaks my heart...

...but seeing her rise above it with such strength brings tears to my eyes. I don't ever want to see her hope tarnished, or her desire to live erased. I want to hold her, carry her, play with her every moment I can...

Even if she is sick, if she wants to march forward I will carry her there. I will lift her up when she falls..."

"She is more than a little sister. She is more than a young follower. More than just a endearing friend...

I could feel the buildup of tears behind my eyes begin to spill forth, as a massive cataract of happiness and adoration slowly followed, my lungs filling themselves with air as the air surrounding me relieved all of the stress I built up over the years. The crying was the signal, that my heart was ready to be filled, ready to be opened...

"...she is the girl I want to share my heart with, as much of my heart I possibly can..."

...I...love Kaori...and I want to spend the rest of my life with her..."

Shizuma offered her hand to me for a hug, and I let my tear-soaked face sink into her hair, as I silently sobbed with happiness. The world is changing, and I want to show Kaori-san it all. "The only thing that I am concerned about...is...you. You love her too...and I don't know what I am supposed to do now...does this mean we will be competing for her now?"

"Miyuki, I won't interfere with anything you pursue. I love Kaori too, but I am not the kind of person who would take her away from my best friend. I value both of your happiness above my own...and would be just as happy to see you both flourish in love...so please don't waste these emotions..."

After a moment of silence, Kaori emerged from the bathroom, with her clean hair and new clothes, holding her hands out with her pink hair ribbon outstretched. Shizuma nodded to me, and I walked forward to accept her invitation to tie it into her hair once again.

A flame was lit in my heart that I want to keep kindled forever.

A path has beet cut into the heavens for me, with the beautiful smell of strawberries along the way, embroidered with gold, and decorated with cherry blossoms. I will take this path, no matter what would come my way, I will brave through it. For her. For my angel with a pink ribbon.

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><p>● Next chapter coming 1-14-12. Title drop. I want to re-watch Strawberry Panic in it's entirety and search out any other past scenarios that need to be fleshed out. I don't know what year student that Amane, Chikaru, Momori, Kaname and Shion are supposed to be. Wish there was a larger character sheet I could see. Thank you DrYuriMom for the reviews and being a devoted reader. Please let me know if I missed a few words (for - or, on - in, words in incorrect places or being used incorrectly) I read this and didn't notice any misplaced words, but let me know if there are some.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5: Sentence

Kaori

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><p>My ribbon was tied gently into my hair. After my refreshing shower everything felt better...Miyuki and Shizuma looked a lot happier now than they were last night. I was ready to live my days out and enjoy this extremely free day with my best friends. "So...do you think we can go outside in the rain now?"<p>

"I don't know where our umbrellas are at right now..." Miyuki told me, shrugging a bit. "I'm okay without an umbrella..." I said back to them, walking over to the window and listening to the relaxing echos of splashing water outside, seeing girls scatter across the walkways and under trees, running to the dorms to hide from the downpour, almost like they were annoyed by the rain instead of curious.

Then again, I have never felt the touch of real rain. I have never had the honor of enjoying a rain shower. I put a hand to my chest and took a deep breath to see if any tightness occurred. After feeling my breath travel freely through-out my lungs I could safely confirm I was going to be okay today.

What if being here is making me better? I've been here for a few days but I feel so much better now. I am walking around, playing with other people. Experiencing things I have never experienced before...I'm...going to be okay now...

"Shizuma, Miyuki...can we go outside now?" Both of the girls nodded and began to lead me to the door, with me promptly following them, and when they opened the door I saw a pair of girls standing in front of the door as well. It was a couple of girls from the student council.

"Kaori Sakuragi, we have been informed you have a visitor in the main hall that wishes to speak to you." A visitor...this does not sound like it's going to end up nicely.

Miyuki and Shizuma escorted me down the hallways, soaked girls scurrying about to their rooms as the storm began brewing up, tossing light winds and heavy rain surges back and forth as the minutes ticked by. We went down staircases until we entered the common lounge where my visitor was said to meet me. It was one of the hospital assistants that was assigned to transport my medication and manage my health status and routine check-ups. Suddenly I felt the joy that was flourishing within slowly begin to drain away as I was reminded that I still have a heavy connection with them regardless of my freedom from the ill-omened pit that was my home. She came out to me, attempting to make me feel comfortable around her.

From underneath an umbrella I looked back at my friends, standing at the door of the dormitories looking at me as I walked away with this woman, to yet again reunite with a faceless staff of doctors, devour more bitter medication and answer an endless menagerie of questions while sitting in a dingy white room for hours. I really didn't want to do this again...I thought I might be free from all of this...

And here I was again, standing outside of the towering heath that devoured so many of my days. This hospital. This ward. Even though I have been involuntarily referred here so many times I don't even know what it's called or what they do here, if I even should be coming here. Some days I believed I was the only one entering this place, the only patient. I followed the woman through-out the winding hallways with doors and clipboards hanging from the sides. She attempted small-talk, that I promptly negated with my silence.

"Sakuragi-san, how have you been doing?" I don't even remember this woman's name anymore, as my silence conveyed all the information that she needed, that I desired to not speak with her and that I wanted to be somewhere else, but she insisted on doing her assignment nonetheless. "I have been addressed with the responsibility of taking you for a couple hours to do some testing at the site, I would appreciate it if you would come with me."

Finally I was entered in my room, with my assigned doctor. She also attempted to introduce herself to me, to which I replied with silence. I don't want to be here. I don't want to participate in these tests anymore. I don't need these tests, I am sick of this. Understanding this, the doctor mildly continued about her business, taking some samples from me, asking me questions, placing the stethoscope in different areas. I tried my best to zone this tedious moment in my life out as much as possible. To endure this melancholy. "Kaori...I have some information for you that you might have wanted to hear." 5 hours in, and she finally mentions something that catches my interest.

"So far, my staff has confirmed that the easiest way for you to recover to the state where you can live a normal life is through a routine we have planned out for you. It might sound very bad and intrusive right now, but so far it's one of the few options you have left to keep your heart, liver and lungs from dipping into territory that...you will not like."

"...what do you mean?" I asked. "We have ordered a new medication for you to take along with a change in diet. Taking it once every 8 hours, along with avoiding any potentially harmful factors in any way that would put further stress on your lungs and heart. Things that could cause your heart to beat irregularly or at an unregulated accelerated rate, being exposed to possible allergens and-" I attempted to interrupt her in the middle of her sentence to voice my concern. "Things that could cause my heart to beat irregularly...what would this mean?"

She began to rephrase her sentence in a more understandable manner. "Things such as exercise, running, other physical activities that require rapid movements. Letting yourself get too excited, agitated or stressed out may also affect this. After checking your status it appears you have undergone a lot of stress in the past few days, and it's already taking it's toll on your system. Your body is showing signs of wear, not having adequate time to recover from the strain it undergoes from day to day. You can't be pushing your body past it's limits, you have to use moderation when choosing to act and feel. Understand that if you are not more careful you might begin to break down in some of the worst ways..."

"How could this be happening? I have been feeling more happier and energetic than I have been before...I thought I was getting better after being able to freely move around and experience...my life. You mean to tell me I've been getting sicker, when I don't feel sick at all?" I know that I did lose a lot of energy that one day under the tree, that I probably did take a bit of a hit when I did all of that...but I felt so much better after the release...I don't see how any of this is making me worse...

"...do you think you can tell me...how long it will take for me to be able to live a normal life with your new idea? And what will I be doing in order to recover faster?" I knew this was going to be a very long time. 2 months, maybe 4, maybe even 6. Whenever my body gets into a state of disarray, the milestones I had to pass in order for it to recover was always measured in months. "4 years."

My heart sank, and almost railed against my ribcage in absolute despair as I heard that measurement uttered. Four years. Four years of doing absolutely nothing, of actively avoiding the things I wanted to do, with the people I love the most. To be fixed on a diet, and taking new medications. For four years. One thousand four hundred sixty days of my life I will have to condemn away in order to recover. By the time I do get better Miyuki and Shizuma would have already been gone.

"How am I supposed to do this for four years? What about my friends? The school? Do I have to walk slowly and calmly around, avoid going outside and taking leisurely walks?" She nodded to me, unsure of how to take my reaction. "One thing that I can assure you is after this treatment is complete you will be able to live your life like every other person. You will be able to run, jump, and handle a lot more of the world than you can right now. It's going to take awhile, but if you don't take this avenue, and think that your body can endure what it's being exposed to right now...your organs will eventually give up, and you will eventually die. Think about your father, and how he might feel if this was to happen. Your friends."

My father would have been put at ease if such an event occurred. Shizuma and Miyuki though...I understand that this wasn't something I should jump into on a rampaging whim...if my doctor's word was truly meaningful...I would not want to lose them both because I brashly asserted myself into harmful situations.

Then again, a life of doing nothing but sitting in my room or taking my time going to places doesn't really sound like a life at all. "The best suggestion I have for you right now is to allow yourself to be submitted to a live-in ward here. We can track your progress and keep your health maintained here. Your friends can still visit you whenever they want, and you do not have to worry about any possible stress that would be caused by obligatory school-based events and activities. Would you like to take this option?"

I shook my head. If there is any place I want to stay, its at Astraea Hill. My doctor nodded to confirm the end of the appointment, and gave me a few reports and a supply of my medicine to take, along with a guideline of activities and scenarios to avoid to help with this regimen. Even with the promise of recovering forever...it just felt too far away...

I returned to Astraea Hill, walking through the halls reading this sheet, which began to get more cumbersome and disheartening to read. Participating in plays or contests was a real thing they wanted me to avoid. To not take extremely long showers. Do not be around rapidly flashing lights. Do not expose myself to other people's drama or arguments. It was almost like the only things left to do was to stand in one place, sit around or sleep. No. Maybe I am being a bit dramatic.

I entered my bedroom, and saw Miyuki and Shizuma sitting inside. "How did things go? Did you get any new information?" Miyuki said with a sliver of hope in her voice, noticing the disheartened look on my face regardless. "...they said that in...four years...as long as I follow what is instructed to me in this booklet, that I can recover from my illness."

Shizuma grabbed the book, carefully reading it, along with the few papers stapled to the back. "...Do they even know what you are getting sick from?" She asked angrily, shuffling through the papers as if they were scattered with lies and mis-aimed information. "...No. They can identify the symptoms but they have no idea what it is...I'm not sure if it's because it's a new illness, or because..." Miyuki finished my sentence with a sharp tongue "...because they are probably just interns with no idea of what they are doing."

My heart began to spiral downwards. "I don't know what is going on anymore. I don't feel any worse than I was now, but according to them...I..." Shizuma and Miyuki got closer to me, placing their hands on my shoulders in an attempt to comfort me. "It is best to listen to your doctors, even if their suggestions are as...ill-written and questionable as this. You don't look sick...but we wouldn't want you to push yourself too hard in an attempt to keep up with us..." I nodded in agreement, and sat there with them.

I looked outside in the storm, the soothing noise of rain outside making me calm down and descend from my distraught feelings. Another knock at my door was heard. Shizuma stood up to answer it. It was the student council again, but this time they wanted to talk to Miyuki or Shizuma. "I'll be back Miyuki...Kaori..." she promptly said, venturing out of the room with the two faceless girls as me and Miyuki sat inside of my room. Seconds ticked by, then minutes.

"Miyuki-san, I want to go outside today. The rain would make me feel better." Miyuki nodded, took my hand and helped me stand up from the bed. "I understand." she said, as her grip on my hand tightened, and she calmly walked with me outside, as we approached the door, to enter the rain shower.

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><p>Edit: 1-24-12, Fixed a pronoun stumble.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6: Empyrean Bliss

Miyuki

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><p>I don't know what exactly is going on with Kaori. I don't know what the name of her sickness is, I don't know the episodes she has had in the past, the medications she used to take, her old doctors, or even the name of her father. There is so much I want to know about this girl, this quiet, sickly...beautiful girl.<p>

There is much ahead of me that I have to overtake before I can dwell on these feelings. I'll put them aside for now. I am much too distracted. I will focus on the goal ahead of me, to stand together with Kaori as she enjoys this pouring rain. I open the door for her, as we look out to the courtyard and see the rain pouring down, slapping against the granite pathways and into the leaves of the trees, and then quickly running right by me is Kaori, darting into the rain, holding her hands high.

"This is so beautiful..." she says aloud, stepping out in the open, letting the cascade envelop her as every other girl in school cower inside their bedrooms wishing this rainstorm was over.

Not her, she embraces it like a miracle. It seems that every day we spend together I can see beauty in things that I could never comprehend. Something as simple as fresh air, rain, friendship. She appreciates these things, cherishes them, while I spent my entire life trying to fight off frustration and feelings of insecurity.

She began to run a bit further away down the pathway. "Miyuki-san...come with me." She beckoned me, trying to get me to step from the doorway and into the rain with her.

"I'm not dressed for this weather yet..." I spoke, acknowledging my unsuitable clothing for enduring going into this weather. "If it gets wet it ends up transparent and shrinks in cold water...so I think I might have to stay here." A modest smile grew from Kaori, as she walked back over to me, and grabbed my hand, pulling it into the curtain of rain that fell from the rafters above. "Please Miyuki?" she asked me, in the softest, cutest voice she could muster, completely obliterating my resistance to going out.

"That's so not fair Kaori." I joyfully exclaimed, stepping into the rain with her and feeling a light chill chase up my spine as the cold water began to strike my hair and body. Kaori pulled me along the pathways as we weaved past bushes and trees, benches and light posts, just enjoying the experience while I hastily attempted to avoid a lot of the rain in vain.

Then I began to think to myself, as the shivers in my skin began to recede and I began to warm up inside. Me and Kaori are all alone...this would be the perfect time for me to share my feelings with her. To bond with her. Just the thought of that sent an almost paralyzing shiver through my body which halted me in my place, causing Kaori to turn around from her rain-bound adventure. "Miyuki? Are you getting too cold?"

I nodded, trying to formulate a plan. A place that's secluded, warm, somewhere I could be together with her, and let her know. I wanted to let her know, even if she would reject me. I don't know if her heart beats for mine or Shizuma's. I had to try, however. I don't want to let it build up, and regret never making a move. Like how it was with Shizuma...where I only had the courage to release my true desires when it was nearing the end of our final day as a duo and the deadline had arrived.

"...Miyuki-san...do you want to go back to the dorm?" she asked me, wondering of my status. I shook my head, and continued forward with her, taking a path to the left that lead towards the library. The library, a place that has the reputation of being empty, secluded. Many couples have shared their hearts and and feelings there. There were many places within we could go. "No Kaori...I am fine. Let's continue this...I want to stay with you, no cold rain is going to stop that." I smiled, encouraging myself to continue forward, as a glistening sparkle in her eyes appeared as we continued to walk around in the deluge.

I felt almost sinister leading her there. There was a fervid light set ahead within me, but it was not guiding me towards that direction out of libido, or out of desire. It was out of adoration. To ease my heart that was beating out of control. While we were going there I started to shiver again, and I began to notice I was no longer able to endure the cold like Kaori was, who dressed more thickly than I had and could endure more of this weather than I. Even a tiny feather of wind would almost paralyze me.

Kaori wrapped her arms around my right arm, pulling closer to make me acknowledge that she was around, in an attempt to keep me warm. She didn't say anything, but I understood her affections. My hands began to sweat as we inched closer and closer to the library doors. I grabbed onto the handle and pulled it open, as we both entered inside, and the deluge stayed outside.

We both walked in to the under-lit shelves, weaving in between areas to locate a spot where we could sit down. There was a small stepladder that could seat two people at the edge of a corner shelf of books, and we both sat down there. I could feel my clothes tightening around my skin, leaving a sticky, wet, cold feeling behind as my movements pulled the soaked fabric across my arms, legs, chest and neck, uncomfortable and unpleasant in many ways.

Kaori wiggled closer to me, petting my arms and trying to push the remaining water off. "I'm sorry I dragged you about like this..." I shook my head, and looked to her "I don't mind Kaori-san...I just wanted to be with you, I wanted to watch you enjoy yourself, and I'm here to assist you in any way I can..." A smile lit up from her, and she locked her eyes with me, and she began to talk to me...but then the world around me got extremely silent.

I couldn't hear the rain anymore, or her voice. The only thing I could hear was the pulse of my own heart, racing faster than it normally was as I felt an uproot of emotions begin to swirl inside of my chest. Her lips were moving very smoothly, tender words I could not hear releasing from them. I had no idea what she was saying anymore, and then slowly and surely, she caught on too.

From a stare of concern, she tried to convey her confusion to me, unsure of what is happening to me. I am fully aware of this sensation, this amorous hypnosis that overtakes my ability to act in a coordinated manner.

"Kaori-san..." I hear myself mutter in my head, feeling my lips also mimicking the voice within, as I saw my hand phantasmally trail upwards, pulling itself along Kaori's beautiful skin and then setting itself in the back of her wet hair... my heartbeat resonating through my fingers to the back of her head. Her eyes began to animate with sensations that we shared.

Those beautiful fuchsia opals. Those lucid fuchsia eyes. I never want to look away from them...

...as I slowly began to draw myself in. She understood my intent, taking a second to decide what her reaction would be. There was no resistance, as I noticed the animations dancing within her eyes fade as those feathered eyelashes slowly began to obscure her vision, as her lips tightened and puckered, as my mouth mimicked hers, drawing closer and closer to her face, to the point where my heart was dancing inside of my rib cage and the blood in my veins was boiling, my muscles tingling, every fiber in my body jumping into a penultimate stage of excitement as I got closer...and closer...

...and closer...

...until my approach to her grinds to a halt. Her lips were just a centimeter away, they were almost touching mine, and I could not move forward. I was trying to push my body with all of my might to complete this motion as fast as possible before I lose this moment.

Why am I stopping? Why am I hesitating?

Come on Miyuki. Kiss her. Lock your lips with hers. Break from this crippling shock you are locked into. What is going on?

Soon enough this instant where me and Kaori could have shared our love-locking kiss, was over. Kaori opened her eyes, staring at me with a perplexed look on her face.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked. "Is there somebody watching?" She asked me questions, that I wasn't able to answer. I shook my head, trying to regain my composure, but hold onto the feelings in my heart the best I can as I mutter out loud to her, trying to formulate why I can't kiss her. "I'm afraid Kaori-san..."

"...Afraid?"

"I've never been so close to anyone so beautiful, never had an opportunity like this...I am so used to never getting what I want, to being denied, to having it postponed...having to rush for it or force it, relinquish it for something else...so used to knowing there is a heavy cost to anything I wish to have ...to give up so much to have something so dear to my heart..Kaori-san...I want you to be mine..."

"I love you, Kaori Sakuragi-san...I just don't know how I-"

Kaori breaks my insecurities like a hammer through glass, silencing me by embracing me with her delicate arms, pulling me closer to her face and then kissing me, the feelings I put on stand-by rushing forward as I exploded into a storm of absolute joy and unlimited love as my lips are locked with hers.

Tears ran down my cheeks as she locked me in place. I closed my eyes and absorbed this moment with my entire being, and I coiled my arms around her body as well, warming myself to her touch as we share a kiss that magnified my relief on an ultimate scale.

I am so close to her that I can even hear her faint heart beat, racing mine as she begins to slowly dissolve in my arms and loosen up, initiating control to me as we lock together so tightly I can feel our chests touching, separating our lips only momentarily to breathe. I can feel her arms slowly rise up, and her fingers knit themselves into my own wet hair, cradling my head while I hold her close by the lips, permanently bonding my heart and soul with her. Our lips only separate for a few seconds so she can murmur one thing, before her lips return to mine.

"I love you too...Miyuki Rokujyo..."


	7. Chapter 7: Crux

Kaori

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><p>I sat on my bed with Shizuma, sliding my feet back and forth across the ground with the tips of my socks, while she played with my hair, straightening out the strands and brushing it out of my face as the light on my counter wandered in different directions, flickering. "So, you and Miyuki are together now. For some reason I thought she was going to have cold feet and hesitate making her feelings known." I nodded the best I could, fiddling my fingers along my legs, fluttering feelings in my chest still resonating outward, easily detectable by the silver-haired girl sitting behind me. "How did your first kiss feel? Did it feel like how you imagined it? Do the feelings passed onto you with it still echo through-out your body?"<p>

I couldn't formulate a reply, only sat there silently, re-imagining the moment from a third person perspective, watching me and Miyuki kiss from outside of my body, letting my confused bewildered self slowly get lost, while a stronger, more passionate me took over the moment. I could only reply to Shizuma's questions with a blush and a sigh of calmness, of completion. "Shizuma, I don't think I know what to do with..."

"With what, my dear?" I looked down at my feet, still confused on how to word my sentences. "Well...erm...Love. I know how it feels, and how to let it guide me, but I don't understand it. I don't know where it comes from, or when it should be used, or how to make sure you can always share it..." Shizuma laughed lightly, hugging me from behind to whisper into my ear. "Don't think too hard dear, it's not something you need to apply human characteristics to or personify. It's a feeling within you, and it's not a force or energy you need to be taught how to use or control."

Shizuma took my hand, and holding it in hers, placed it against my chest. "When people speak of the feelings in their heart, they do not always mean the flesh-and-blood organ beating within them. When they speak of love, they speak of the source, the core of the person where they draw all of their emotions, to share with those they find special. Many people can speak of falling in love, but never actually feel it, instead being entranced by desires and fantasies. Many people can never have the word love cross their lips, but are able to share their emotions and devotion without speaking a single word. Do you understand Kaori-san? Love is exactly what you, and the person you love, believe it is."

I clutched Shizuma's hand close, conveying what I needed to let her know I understood what she said, while embracing the thoughts and feelings I had inside for myself. Today was very intense, and left me tired. It was time to go to bed soon. "I hope you can forgive me for interrupting you and Miyuki's perfect moment...when you both vanished into the rain, it was the only place I could think of where she would go, and when I went there in search, I happened upon you both."

I blushed luminescently, slumping down in shyness as I recalled what happened later that evening when Miyuki and I were close together, and she attempted to kiss me, only to linger out of fear that something wrong might happen. "Even though she said she was afraid, my heart was already beating too fast to let it slow down...The build-up towards that moment was...beautiful. She drew me into her, and I was so close, too close to pull away. Eventually when I understood what she truly felt, the only thing I could think of was to feel the same...and I finished what she started..."

"Even though Miyuki was in doubt to push forward, you pushed forward enough for the both of you to cherish such a heavenly moment. I'm very happy to see the both of you evolve so much while I was gone. It seems like you seem to be growing and flourishing every time I look away." Shizuma said jokingly. She stood up from my bed and began to climb off, getting ready to leave. "Kaori-san, I hope you can get your night's rest. I'm sure today took a major bite out of your energy reserves."

"Shizuma-san, I have one more question..." I asked her, before she opened the door. "...have you ever been in love?"

"...many have declared that they were in love with me. Many outside of this school. Many in this school. Some were random girls I never cared to know, some of them were those I shared my life with for many years. I have never been able to share their emotions..."

"Why?"

"I have the opposite problem that Miyuki-san faces. Instead of being denied and forced to give up things I desire most, I am granted anything I want without opposition or challenge. While this may be the desire of many people in the world, for me it's a one-sided curse. Love at first sight is the bane of my heart, for it means that I can have anyone I desire with a flick of a finger. I do not want this...I want to earn love, not have it freely given to me. I want to find somebody who appreciates me for who I am, capable of knowing I also can do wrong, that I am not perfect, and can be rejected forgiveness for sins I have committed. I don't want to be worshiped as a goddess, I want to be loved as a human being."

Loved as a human being. How I suddenly feel guilty for my thoughts. I remember when I first saw Shizuma, I thought of her as one before I even got to know her. The way she looked and acted with me made me want to praise her, idolize her. I could see why she ignores the praise many girls give her in class, how she tries to stay away from many others besides me and Miyuki, how she tends to vanish at times.

"Goodnight, Kaori-san." Shizuma spoke, letting herself out of my room. The quiet of the night began to settle in, as the hustle from outside didn't appear again. Today was an intense day, and I have a lot to think about, a lot to feel. A lot to reflect on.

I will have to start taking my medication, and not pushing myself too hard. Getting plenty of rest and avoid eating bad foods. I think today might have been something I was supposed to avoid. However, I do not regret it, not at all.

Shizuma

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><p>After closing the door, I walked through the darkness of the hallways, encountering the door to me and Miyuki's room. After resting my fingers on it for a few seconds, I pulled away, instead wandering away to enter the recreational balcony, that connected to the staircase, to stare outside the window for awhile.<p>

"Miyuki...you know your parents are coming at the end of the week...to assure you are complying with their expectations. I don't know why you chose to do this now..." The Rokujyo family had many eyes and ears at their disposal if it was needed, but they preferred to meet and identify people in person. Luckily for Miyuki, this was the only saving grace Miyuki's parents offer to her. While they are not cruel, or violent or absolutely monstrous, her father and mother are overly sensitive to the views of others, and absolutely refuse to let anything that would hurt their name exist.

I heard creeping footsteps behind me, as I felt the approach of the girl in question.

"Shizuma, did you put Kaori-chan to bed?" she whispered to me, small footsteps inching closer to me, almost out of fear of disturbing me. "Yes, I took care of her and set her to sleep. What persuaded you to come to me here though?"

"...I don't know what I am going to do tomorrow. I've never gotten this far with anyone. I am so used to being rejected, that I never really knew what I was going to do if I ever was successful. I don't know if I would be able to make Kaori happy...I don't know if I could keep her safe, or if I could stay with her."

"You need to remember everything you did with her before this happened, and then proceed to do that. Kaori is still Kaori, regardless if she is in a relationship or not. Treating her differently solely because of the events that occurred tonight wouldn't be fair to either of you. When someone finds qualities in you that make them happy, don't start changing them around when you both unite, it is the killing stroke that ends many relationships."

"You are right Shizuma...I feel so much better now. I wish I had the wisdom that you have sometimes." My words were uplifting Miyuki's heart, encouraging her and protecting the love she deserves. I'm happy for her, to see her be able to step up from her slump of hopelessness. I hope she can endure what is to come later on in the week. She has not commented upon it yet, but I am sure she knows. Her mother and father will be ruthless, with eyes filled with disdain, casting out an aura of rejection to their daughter for the path she follows In search of love. "Make sure to be careful with Kaori when your parents are around." I warned, trying not to let the thought escape my mind.

"...I didn't want to talk about any of that yet." She despondently said, walking closer to join me by the window. "It's only a few days away, it's plenty of time to sort things out, and prepare. They don't need to find out what you are doing, but be sure that if you and Kaori-san's relationship goes public, gossip will spread like wildfire, and they will see the smoke it leaves behind." Miyuki went quiet for a few minutes, and I looked to her, seeing her sniffling from frustration, clinching her fists. I pulled her by the arm and gave her a hug, patting her head as I attempted to relieve some of her anguish.

I'll take good care of both of you. Miyuki, Kaori. I may not be able to have either of you for my own, but only you two, do I feel safe sharing my affections with. I play play and toy with a few students here, but they are faceless, unmemorable, unworthy of my affection.

I feel guilty sometimes for how I treated you Miyuki, but to be honest, I am happy you were able to seed your heart with Kaori. Not only would you be able to save your own heart, and keep the flames within Kaori lit, but you would be able to keep her safe...

...from me.

If it was not for the small interruption of the student council informing me randomly of Miyuki's parents upcoming arrival...I would have taken her to the rain shower myself.

More than a kiss would be shared with her if I was allowed a moment alone with her. How sinister and bewitched I feel for even imagining such a scenario. Kaori is so delicate and pure to me, a clean soul. With any other girl, I would be able to allow myself to sully my mental image of them with provocative delusions. To satiate my desires within. I feel so filthy and uncivilized for trying to put Kaori in such a manner...whenever thoughts of her inviting me to take her body as my own end up with me feeling unbearable guilt and shame...I have to reject my hormonal drives the best I can...and keep my desire under control.

I shall pray for the both of you, to continue on. To survive this ordeal together...I need more time to quell these hungering monsters within...

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><p>●<strong> Edit 1-25-12. I hit a major dead-end and wrote myself into a corner. had to rewrite this to address the problem. <strong>


	8. Chapter 8: Cumultide

Kaori

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><p>After quickly finishing my morning rituals, taking my medication and tending to my own hair to weave my ribbon in, I got my uniform on and decided to leave my room to meet up with Shizuma and Miyuki. It's been almost a complete week since we've been together. Since our encounter in the Library. The day after was the first day she held my hand and brought me to class and assisted me in my work. Shizuma, I only saw seldom that day, but it didn't appear she was avoiding us. I love the look Miyuki has in her eyes now. What I once saw seemed to convey she was disturbed by something, but it seems like whenever I come around that disruption is lifted away.<p>

She gave me a kiss on the cheek every night, even if it was not as passionate as the Library's kiss. I didn't mind though. These feelings in my heart make my pain go away, which I have noticed, is starting to come back. The immunity I had to the stinging in my lungs is slowly going away. Sometimes I have to cough a little to clear my throat, and underneath my ribcage it feels very warm and itchy.

I don't want to tell Shizuma and Miyuki, I think I'll be fine. It's probably...just the medication working.

I heard a knock at my door. "Come in."

Miyuki-san walked through the door, pushing her midnight blue hair to the side as she waited for me at the door. "Good morning Kaori-chan. Are you doing well?" she meekly said, still struggling with how she should address me. I nodded to her, walking forward as she held her hand out and I accepted it.

It was strange how fast everyone caught on to us being together. At first, Miyuki wanted to be discreet with her affection for me, only wishing to touch me or hug me when the other girls around. I'm not sure why she didn't want them to know. Perhaps she still is shy...

"Miyuki-san, can I ask you a question?" Miyuki nodded, still waiting with me at the door before we went outside, getting ready to go to class in 30 minutes. "Since you are the first girl I have ever shared my heart with...I can say...you are my first girlfriend...am I your first girlfriend?" the clumsily asked question bounced around in Miyuki's head as she let out a sigh along with her answer.

"Yes, you are. Out of all of the girls I desired, and wished to be mine, or wished to belong to, you were the only one that said yes." She began to draw me closer to her chest, holding me closer than she normally does. "You are one of the first 'right' things to happen to me for a very long time...I've been waiting for someone like you to come into my life." I could feel a few warm tears begin to drip on the back of my neckline. "Don't cry Miyuki, it'll be okay." I told her. She sniffed, and cleared her throat, trying to recover her stature. "Now I guess you understand what Shizuma says about me all the time." she jokingly said, as be both looked at each other with a smile.

Another knock at the door was heard, and I pulled it open slightly and peeked out, to see Shizuma standing outside. "...You both are fully clothed, right? I don't mean to interrupt the both of you if you are busy." The comment sparked both me and Miyuki to blush. "No, we aren't doing anything like that!" "Of course you're not." she stuck her tongue out at me, and we both proceeded to leave the room and go off to class together.

Today was the last day of school before Summer. All the students here will get the chance to go back home with their families for a few days then come back for the second semester. It was very warm and pleasant outside, and things were going very well. Miyuki sat by my side again in class as we studied French. I didn't like French too much either, it was one of the harder subjects I had to face. I was going to pass it though, with Miyuki-san's help I could pass any class.

With much effort I put all of my energy and thinking into conquering these assignments, these tests, watching the seconds pass by until it was time for us to leave. Miyuki was watching the clock too, and I was not sure why. She had a sickened and sad look at her face as the minute hand creeped slowly upward. It bugged me a lot, but I focused back on my work. I put my hand across the table, putting my fingers against hers to attempt to break her away from this distraught mood. She looked back and smiled, and the color returned to her face.

Class was over, and now we could venture off on our own to do what we wish. Many girls retreated to their rooms and packed their clothes, getting ready for the summer. I walked with Miyuki down the pathway, returning to our own dormitory. Miyuki wasn't as affectionate today. There was nobody around but she just looked forward, lost in thought. I inched over to her, and wrapped my arms around her left arm. "Miyuki-chan, are you okay? You don't seem like yourself today, is there anything I can do to help?" She began to slow down, looking around cautiously, jittering around with a paranoid look across her face.

"It's nothing...I am just being cautious." I wasn't sure what to think about this. Perhaps this feeling she has right now will go away once we reach the Dormitories. I didn't want to dwell on it or try to force Miyuki to tell me anything she wouldn't be comfortable talking to me about. I followed her to her room and we met Shizuma there, who was sitting on Miyuki's bed awaiting our return. Her face was stern, her eyes sharp and staring coldly at the floor. "Miyuki, there's something you need to know. I saw them a few minutes ago...they are in the admissions office."

Who is she talking about?

"They actually came this time, didn't they..." Miyuki said, much despair in her speech, the blood in her arms shooting rapidly and violently through her shaking arms. I tugged on Miyuki's sleeve, trying to comfort her in some other way. "Miyuki...please tell me what is going on..." Miyuki looked down to the floor, her hair covering her face and unleashing a dreary and depressed sigh as she began to tell me. "My parents came here to pick me up, Kaori. My father and mother want to take me back home, and meet the man they want me to marry."

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><p>● I think Shorter chapters would make the story more attractive and prevent TL;DR syndrome. I sometimes suffer from it. Even if the story would atrophy into 60+ chapters, all of them being small probably would be better. Large paragraphs leave people lost or make them think it might take too long.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9: Twisted Dream

Kaori

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><p>That is right. Miyuki once told me that when she graduates, that she is going to be taken off to marry a husband and take control of her family, much to her misfortune, and mine. "You don't want to go, do you?" I asked her.<p>

"Of course not Kaori. I would never go to meet that guy, I never want to leave this school. This is one of the only places I feel safe and happy at. Every since I was admitted here, and met Shizuma, I have never left. She has never left. I absolutely refuse to go with them willingly." Miyuki leaned against the door, shaking her head, while Shizuma walked closer to us. "Miyuki...didn't you tell Kaori that your parents were planning to do this at all?"

"...No." I said. This was extremely unsuspected for me, and my stress was beginning to collect inside. Shizuma snapped at Miyuki out of frustration "She should have known about this a long time ago, that way you could have even things out and she wouldn't have had to figure this out now. You had an entire week to let Kaori know...why would you not tell her anything that was going on?" Miyuki looked up, peering through the hair covering her face.

"Kaori is happy with me, she was smiling, enjoying my company...I didn't want to give her anything to worry about...I was hoping that it would all just go away and they would change their minds this year...and we could go about like nothing ever happened."

"No, Miyuki. This is one of the many times you are being senseless. Your father and mother are waiting in that room now, and they aren't going to leave until you talk to them. You can't keep secrets from your parents, because they will find out, and you shouldn't keep secrets from Kaori, because she should find out."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here..." I told them, feeling tense from the amount of despair that was brewing in the room. "I'll go with you Miyuki...to talk to your parents. You shouldn't have to see them alone." Miyuki adamantly declined my offer as soon as I finished my sentence. "No, Kaori. If they found out that I wasn't being corrected in this school, and that I had a girlfriend, they might take me out of it completely and put me somewhere else."

"Then...what do I do Miyuki? I don't want anything bad to happen to you...or have them take you away from me...what am I supposed to do?"

"...Just stay here with Shizuma. I will let you both know what will become of me afterwards." Miyuki grabbed onto the door to pull it open, and noticed that I didn't let go of her arm. I didn't want to. I know that this isn't going to be the last time I see her, but there was something about her going off to see them that just bugged me. I had so many questions, so many unresolved feelings. I want to see who they are, I want to know why they are the bane of her existence. Letting her go to face an enemy I know nothing about saddens me.

"Miyuki-chan...is the reason you do this...because your sister is like you too? That she also doesn't want a husband?" She turned her head, inching from the door. "Yes. My younger sister...Mitsuru. Before, I always thought about running away and pushing this curse upon her instead. I never wanted something like this for me anyway...just until the time I discovered that Mitsuru was also like me, who wanted to share her life with another girl. I was able to see that this was the happiest she has ever been in her entire life. She was able to find love regardless of the hardships her own life had, and how finding her loved one was truly a once-in-a-lifetime thing...I couldn't get myself to continue with my plan. To break her heart would drive her into ultimate desperation...she doesn't deserve the fate I earned, no matter how much I don't want it."

I walked closer to her and united myself with her, locking my arms tightly around her and trying to ease the pain I saw in her. "Miyuki, I promise if we can't be together I will always be by your side. I don't want you to feel guilty for choosing to save your sister over spending your life with me. I am happy with you being my friend."

I already knew, that me staying with her could complicate things beyond a state of return. Then, I realized that my words hurt Miyuki more than helped her. I worded it like we had to break up. I didn't want to break up with her. Now, I felt like I was stumbling, assuming things that weren't there. Miyuki petted my head, and kissed me on the lips, and then went into the hallway, and closed the door behind her.

The only thing I could do was stare at the door. I had no idea what to do after that. I felt this immense grief overtake my soul, and pain began to sear through my insides, like knives. Numbed to the touch, I never even noticed that Shizuma was hugging me from behind. "Don't worry Kaori...Things will work out."

I didn't even resist letting myself go. I let myself lose all control over my limbs and fall to the ground, letting Shizuma catch me from the ground, and pulling me over to her bed. My face was absolutely soaked, leaving my hair stuck to my cheeks as I sobbed uncontrollably at the pain that was erupting from within. "I don't want Miyuki to go away. I don't want me and Miyuki to separate. I wish she never had to do this at all. She's so much happier with me, and I'm happy with her...why did this have to happen to her? It's so unfair. Why can't they just leave her alone? She's so sad and afraid it's making me go insane!" Eventually I couldn't formulate an understandable sentence as I cried out in misery.

Shizuma kept me close to her the entire time, wiping my tears away. "I know this hurts a lot for you Kaori-san. I knew, and Miyuki knew, that there would be major complications if you two ever decided that you two would fall in love...but I encouraged Miyuki to continue anyway, never thinking that if it didn't work out how badly you would have been hurt. It was the same reasons why I knew I could never pursue Miyuki or accept and validate her feelings for me. In the end, she was bound to be torn away from me...and from anyone else she wanted to fall in love with.

Many nights she would wander the hallways, hiding, crying by herself. Not only because she didn't like to be alone, but because she knew she was going to be alone. I never liked seeing that happen to her, so I took care of her, tried to nurture her and help her."

"Miyuki used to love you too?"

"Yes. We were extremely close, and she admitted, that she wished I could take her with me when we leave this school and graduate. I wanted to, but I understood that both sides of the coin she flipped, would never merit her a true win. Leaving her sister or suffering through an unwanted marriage, were both lose-lose situations, and we both learned, that her time here was going to be the only time where she was free. I didn't want to build up something between us that would eventually crumble."

"Shizuma, I feel so lost...so sick...I don't know what to do anymore..."

"Please don't think anymore...It's best if you just lay down now. You have taken an emotional beating right now, and I can see you are already losing too much energy. Just nap here, I will be by your side until she gets back." I nodded, as Shizuma pulled the pillow under my head and ran her hand against my face until I was able to close my eyes and rest my mind.

Very subtly, Shizuma laid next to me, probably tired from sitting up so much, and she pulled me closer to her chest, bundling me in her arms. I looked to the left of me, peering up at her. "...You are so delicate, how a normal dramatic occurrence or heartbreak saps you of all your energy, it makes you fragile...so fragile that I feel a desire to never see you hurt..." she whispered, just sitting there petting me. I saw she was pulling me closer and closer, entranced, and I knew what was going to happen. "Shizuma...please don't..." I simply asked her. Shizuma hesitated for a few seconds. "I understand..." she remorsefully said, pulling herself up, getting up and then returning to sit on Miyuki's bed. I then resumed to fall into a deep sleep afterward. All of that which was unfolding was just beyond my comprehension today. I wish today was a dream. Maybe when I wake up, none of this would have happened.


	10. Chapter 10: Authority

Miyuki

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><p>Within the admissions office, a line of chairs were put across the room, one facing three. The lone one I assumed was reserved for me. The other three, were the chairs reserved for my mother, father, and younger sister. The seats were already filled, and as I walked into the room, the eyes of my parents locked onto me, as I took my seat in front of them. "Miyuki, I am glad to see you have remained healthy." my mother said, with a very distant voice, as if her mouth only murmured that automatically. I could tell she wasn't even really there, zoning off wishing she was doing something else. My sister Mitsuru gazed upon me, her golden eyes hidden beneath midnight blue, wavy glorious hair, it's length rivaled only by Shizuma's, and once upon a time, my own. When I forsake my long locks for a shorter, more controllable style, she continued to let hers grow. From the center, with my sister and mother to his sides, was my father, who spoke not with indifference, but with authority and a vainglorious self-awareness, a stern and undeniable stare glowing through his thick rimmed classes.<p>

"Miyuki, I come here on behalf of something Jurou wished. He wants to meet you in person, and I decided that bringing you to him during your summer break this year would be the best opportunity that would be available."

"Father, is there anything I can say to you that would convince you to let me stay this year? I haven't left this place in a very long time, and I want to stay." He stared down upon me, with a face of obvious disappointment and disapproval. "Then how will I know if Jurou will like you? Pictures and stories only do so much for him." How do you know if he'll like me? What about the other way around? I don't know who he is, and honestly I don't care. I'm not going to like him anyway...I want nothing to do with him.

"To be honest father...I don't think I am ready to see him at all..." I admitted to him, trying to come up with an excuse why. There is so little things I could use as excuses, there is nothing that I personally could keep secret from him. I do not even know if he knows about Kaori yet...but if his reputation hasn't diminished for a year, he probably knows everything, anything he wants to know he'll get access to, for reasons I can't even identify.

"What if I told you that you were going to see him whether you were ready or not?" He began to press his influence further. "Is it because you do not wish to be separated from some girl you are so fond with, even though I have warned you that I never want you to do that ever again, or is it because you still refuse to allow your normal feelings to develop for a man that you are naturally designed to be with?"

My mother closed her eyes and turned away from me, the timid view of my sister began to shake, and the calculating glare of my father held it's place as I was put on the spot. Did he know about Kaori? Was he speaking of Shizuma? He knew so much about me, yet I knew so little of him. Always the darkest shadow being cast over my life, but remaining invisible so that I do not notice him observing him. After a momentary silence, my father spoke to me once again.

"How I wish that it didn't come to this. When your mother first began to carry you inside of her, I wished and prayed that I had a son that could be strong and adamant about what he wishes to acquire, and if not that, a daughter that was keen, civilized and able to make the best decisions for the fate of our family. I only lost a little hope when I saw that I had a daughter instead, but then, I lost the rest of it when I acquired a daughter who wished she was a son instead, who ceased to wear dresses, who ceased to keep her hair long and chose to cut it short, who chose to take a wife instead of a husband."

Like a serrated dagger my fathers words began to shred my body, my mind, what was left of me. I attempted to endure his words; I knew not of what he desired but I would refuse the best I could not to give in. "When I first noticed that you were drifting away from your natural disposition that sending you to this school would help to erase this foolish desire for women from your mind and save you, but how I was wrong. Last summer I came back, and I noticed that you haven't changed. That girl you wrote so many stories about, Hanazono Shizuma, captivated you so much that I believed for a long time that you would be corrupted forever."

"I was not corrupted! I did not need to be saved! I am fine the way I am! Why do you want to manipulate my life so much father! Why?" I never noticed that I broke my ability to resist his words, and the sinister grin on his face conveyed everything and nothing to me, that even if I don't know what he wanted, that I gave it to him. "I no longer need to give you an answer to that question. If you won't understand now, then I will not tell you. Either way, by the time you graduate, I assure you that you will be cleansed of these filthy desires and you will carry on this family's ambitions. If not, then Mitsuru will happily take your place."

Mitsuru's eyes peeked out for her hair as her gaze widened, a small cry for help emitting in the form of her tightening grip on her knees. I wonder, does father know about Mitsuru? Does he know she also does not desire a husband, and that she gave her heart to a girl already? "You forget Miyuki, that I do not need you. We do not need you. Me trying to help you is a kindness, that I can easily take away. If you do not wish to support this family, then just tell me, so I can have your sister replace you. I have no room in this family for misguided liabilities."

I submitted to his desires, and gave up my resistance. He had no guilt in making me feel so horrible. How I despised this man, how I wished he would just die. I knew though, that it would only shorten the amount of time I would have before I would have to create an heir for the family and take it over myself, to pander and lead a bunch of pretentious patricians under the illusion of bettering the world with a child I am incapable of raising, with a husband I never wanted. Ceasing my sobbing and clearing my throat, I begged him to let me stay.

"Please father, please forgive me for not following your wishes, and going against the family name. I am not ready to see Jurou...san. I would happily marry him to see you happy, but please don't take me now...I'm still...filthy." My despair was like honey to him, and he bought the lie I weaved for him. The smile on his face lasted only for a second, before it disappeared. "Don't let this happen again Miyuki. I don't know why you don't want your sister to become the heir, probably because you desire influence and power. Remember, that if you show no signs of progress by the time I come back, you will no longer be part of this family." Father stood up, and mother did also. How her submitted silence disgusts me. She has no opinions of her own, nothing to say. She prefers to let my father do the talking because she thinks she is above speaking to me. As they begin to leave the room I heard a voice. "Father, may I talk to my sister for a few minutes, alone?"

Without looking back Father allowed it and left the room to go outside and get the car started. Mitsuru gave me a hug, and with what little courage to talk she had, she spoke to me. "Please don't do this for me onee-san. It's not fair to you to suffer like this. You do not need to martyr yourself like this, it hurts me so much to know the reason you relinquish love and happiness is so that they may spare me..."

"Mitsuru, my sister, I do this because out of the both of us, you were the only one who found true love. I knew that you would have that taken from your forever if you were to gain the status, and I did not want to watch you suffer without her. I had nobody for myself, and wanted to make sure my sister would not have to lose something special, when there was somebody else who could lose nothing by taking on the responsibilities. Please do not feel guilty for my actions."

"onee...who is she? The one that father grumbles about? Is it Shizuma?" I shook my head. "No, it is Kaori Sakuragi. She is the one that holds my heart right now." My sister shivered when she heard that last name. "The Sakuragis...a family that broke apart completely upon the deaths of their children. After they were left with only one sick child, the mother threw herself from a rooftop and the father went missing after relinquishing the custody of his daughter...is this last child her?"

I nodded. "How do you know of the Sakuragi family?" Mitsuru looked over to the door that father exited from. "He was talking about that family the day before we arrived. He was talking about her. He was talking about how tragic it was that an heir to such a wealthy estate wouldn't live long enough to ever see the money." The cruelty in which my father talked about Kaori infuriated me. He even knows about Kaori and me, and he casts disgusting judgments upon her without even knowing who she is. "I'm glad you are keeping her safe onee-san, taking care of her. With no family to support her she is truly alone in this world, and knowing you are light of her life makes me happy." I hugged my sister, recollecting myself and mending the wounds that my father tore open. I earned my right to stay here for the summer, and faced my life's tyrant once again, and survived. I waved good bye to my sister as she left the hill and drove away, and then began walking up the stairs to my room. Now, I needed to make sure my silver haired goddess and my little raven-haired angel were okay, and face the reality of my situation.

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><p>Writer's Note: Sorry for the wait.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11: Love & Salvation

Miyuki

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><p>In the lessening light of the hallway outside of our room, me and Shizuma leaned against the wall. Don't worry about Kaori-san. I made sure she was okay...the one person I am worried about however... she spoke softly, referencing me. My father's words and influence are fetid and poisonous. I can endure them the best I can, for my time here with you will always give me the hope I need to push forward and never cave in.<p>

Shizuma's face did not lighten up, and the intensity of her words remained. "I think it would be best to tell you that I don't believe in your words, right now, Miyuki." What? This feeling of mistrust and concern outstretches from Shizuma's uncertainty.

"I'm looking into your eyes right now, and I don't see that hope that pushes you forward. You have something very heavy on your mind about your future, something that was the core part of your heart, but was altered after speaking with that man. When you walked towards me, I would expect you to run straight to Kaori with a determined but sincere smile to re-embrace her, but instead, you lingered out in the hall way, not saying a word, just until I closed the door and spoke to you. Your behavior when you want to push forward, and your behavior when you want to give up are hard to parse for others, but I know you, Miyuki."

I turn away from her the best I can, not saying a word, hoping the silence after her words doesn't cease. "I know you better than anyone here, rivaled only by the girl sleeping in our room. Now tell me what you plan to do, or better yet, admit it to yourself."

"...Leave me alone Shizuma. It is not like you to be this concerned over me."

I remember last year, when my father visited and attempted to pick me up and bring me over to a chosen man, and I refused. Shizuma followed by, and introduced herself to my father, only to be responded to with bitterness and discriminatory scorn. 'You're polluting my daughter, you sickening Hanazono wretch.' he said to her, feigning concern for me and putting up an act, as if he actually cared. He treats my orientation as if it was a drug addiction. It unleashed a hatred in my heart that neither her, or my father have seen. With much assurance and manipulative pride as I have known of him, he quickly challenged me to act on my new-found anger, to which I failed. Even when I wanted to attack him for the way he treated my friend, I couldn't, and he can use that to his advantage if I disobey his will.

"If I remember clearly, you dismiss me because you are lost and hurt, and you may not appreciate the corcern in your state now, but I know you need it."

"Don't bother me Shizuma. I need to be alone to think."

"No, Miyuki. The last time I did that, you were broken by words so badly it took a month to recover you. The longer I let you ruminate over your encounter, the more quickly the Miyuki I know slips away. I know I-"

"Leave me alone. Stop talking."

"No! Stop pretending you are alone in facing him, stop pretending that the wounds he rips open must heal themselves. You have me, and Kaori, whenever you feel this way. Stop being so stubborn, it's your father's words you have defend yourself from, not ours."

A hand is placed on my shoulder, but I quickly pull away from it. Stop knowing me so well, Shizuma. Stop knowing the solutions to my problems, stop understanding what I want, stop seeing my weaknesses and seeking to help me with them.

"Stop...I don't want your pity."

Her hand reaches out again, grabbing me by my collar and pulling me back towards her, paralyzing me as she switches from distant affection to direct attentiveness. "I don't do this because I pity you, I do this because I love you dearly, I do this because I care about you, and I refuse to see you crumble before me. I don't care if you take all of your anger out on me. I absolutely refuse to let you crumble, I refuse to let you break..."

Even in my delirious despair, where I lash out at those closest to me in a self-destructive rage, attempting to hurt myself by pushing away the ones who love me, she remains there keeping her word. The strangle-hold my hatred and pain has upon me is beginning to lift, and I feel forces within me fighting to hold onto it. I want to feel hatred, and sadness, and pain, I want to fully experience it, because that's what he wants. He...wants me to lose everything if he doesn't get his way. He wants me to fall, to fail, without him, and he's even convinced me that I want to as well.

But she won't let me. She holds a trembling, shaken, crying girl in her arms who desires nothing but what's worst for her. She held the same girl a year ago; and is more confident now than she was before when she first held the girl. This silver-haired savior prepared, planned for this to occur again, and to assure herself that she was ready.

To keep this shattering girl before her tightly bound together like a destroyed vase, gentle hands pressuring the pieces to stay in place until they settle.

My tears bleed from my face, my unattended wrath and desire for personal justice to be carried out also following them. As they run down Shizuma's black uniform and quietly settle on the wood floors, I hear shuffling from my room, as the one I cherish the most begins to stir from my unraveling state. As clouds of my emotions and stress envelop me, make me unable to process anything I do anymore, I see the door open, and the light from the windows outside pour through the dusty and darkened hallway, a glorious and gentle angel appearing before me, with her pink ribbon trailing behind her, and concerned magenta eyes peering at me.

My silver haired savior and the maiden of all my love and affection encase me, the warmth of their touch and the pleasure of their voice resounding against my emotional barriers.

From my left side there is Shizuma, letting me clutch onto her chest with tightening fingers as I unleash my frustration and sadness, bearing my brokeness with a gentle stand, cradling my hair with her hands. Upon my right side, the arms of my sickly beloved wrap around me, showing signs of physical and emotional weakness herself, most likely from my previous words, yet she shows the resolve and love to hold me in my moment of weakness as well, the warmth of her arms and the calmness of her heartbeat slowly qwelling the stirring pain inside.

"Please forgive me...I can't keep you Kaori. I can't keep you...there's so much I...there's so much I..." There's so much I want to say. So much I want to explain better. I gave you my heart knowing full well that I would have to take it away when my reality settled in. When I knew that my hopes were already decided, and that it was not something I could run away from.

"A life seperated from my father would be impossible...he would make sure that I would never get a job or help ever again if I were to run away...he would make sure nobody would help you, or me...If not that...he would tear my sister and her lover apart...I can't do that to her...I'm so sorry I let you down...so sorry that I couldn't keep my promises..."

The grip tightens against my waist as Kaori clutches me with all of her strength. "Even if you were to say you hated me Miyuki...I would never forget the time we had together...I would always love you too, even if you could not love be back...even if you shared your heart with someone else in the future...I would never hold ill feelings towards you, no matter what happened."

She takes a gasp, filling her lungs again as Shizuma backs up, and lets Kaori unite with me herself. "My body is weak, and the amount of time I have in this world is more limited than I could imagine. I could have been dead yesterday, or the day before that..."

"Don't talk like that Kaori..." Shizuma says, her dedicated stand flustering at the mention of Kaori's limited life. I too, remember the condition this girl is in, and it breaks me ever-so-slighty out of my chaotic deluge of emotion.

"...but I don't wake up every day wondering if today will be the last day. I wake up every day to see you smile, to see you blush, to see you peer at me with your heavenly golden eyes, not filled with regret or fear, but with the love that I see in Shizuma's heart, and in my own."

Like my soul is being lifted with the gentleness of her fingers, I feel the intensity of the storm within my heart begin to subside, the unclearness of my world and the overshadowing of my emotional barriers crumbling.

"Kaori...I can't be your girlfriend anymore..." I feel her heartbeat begin to increase, but she sustains herself. I feel like I want to die, like I want to rip my skin off and lay here bleeding. She doesn't say anything back, she's probably taking her time to absorb what I have said to her.

"...I'm sorry it had to end this way...I wish it never had to..." I say regretfully, the sickening scalpel of reality digging into my flesh and undoing me from within. Unaffected by my heart-breaking plea, Kaori continues on.

As the entire world around me goes silent for a few seconds, Kaori turns me around, and looks at me. I expected pain to melt through her eyes, I expected tears, anger...but what I saw surprised me more than anything I have ever seen before...she was smiling.

"You don't have to be my girlfriend...for me to love you." My entire body loses control of itself. The muscles within my body completely unlock everywhere, the swelling tears behind my eyes release. The breath dwelling in my lungs pushes forward, my tightening heart releases and relaxes, beating softly and uncontrollably, and I feel light. I slide to the ground and fall in slow motion, and as I attempt to reach out at the ground with my hands to stop myself from falling, I stop before I reach the floor, and look up with what strength I have.

Kaori is holding me up. She is straining, but refuses to let her thin, delicate arms from giving out. She holds onto me, not letting the stress from my weight damper the absolutely divine smile upon her face. She doesn't show straining on her face, or heartbreak, or pity. She is purely incorruptable. Even as I shattered and exploded in front of her and shamed myself with such depressing talk. She still loves me, and will always love me no matter what terminology I give her. Dorm-mate. Friend. Girlfriend. Wife. It wouldn't matter to her, for my place in her heart will always be permanent.

"...Thank you so much...Kaori..."


	12. Chapter 12: Yearning Unfamiliarity

Miyuki

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><p>As Shizuma picks me up and leads me back to the room, and lays me upon my own bed, Kaori follows quickly by, sitting at my bedside. She runs her hand along my face and picks up my tears, pulling wet strands of hair from my face, pushing my bangs out of my eyes.<p>

She stays there for the entire night. Curious girls come by the door to check up on Shizuma, but quickly leave. She instead steps out of the room, letting me and Kaori be alone and tends to her bothersome fangirls and their questions.

Silently, Kaori creeps from the chair and lays beside me, climbing behind me to lay against the wall, humming gently. I turn over to face her, placing my face against her chest, letting her heartbeat lull me to half-sleep.

"I'm sorry I fell on you in the hallway."

"It's okay...I just didn't want you to fall to the floor." I smile, and look to her. She appeares to have something on her mind, and I wait in anticipation.

"Miyuki-chan...I want to stay the night with you until you fall asleep...until I know you'll be okay." I don't reply to that question, but instead pull myself closer to her and kiss her on the cheek. "I wouldn't advise sleeping until I get into something more comfortable."

It begins to get dark outside, and Shizuma returns to the room. "Where is Kaori-san?" she asks, and I point to our bathroom. Emerging from the bathroom she is dressed in some of my pajamas instead, and joins me on my bed while I was already slipped into mine. Shizuma pays her no mind, simply emitting a small smile and retreating to her dresser to peel away her clothes and get more comfortable as well.

The moon light pours through the windows of our room, and I lay there with my eyes open, encased in a warm embrace by Kaori. Her small breaths are endearing to me, along with the tiny pumps I feel in her hands when her heart beats. She's so fragile, but shows signs of strength in the times she believes she needs it. She's in my room, taking care of me when I assumed it would be the other way around. My own words ring in my own head about the day, about all I said, and how well she dealt with it in the end. I wiggle closer into Kaori's grasp on me and lay there admiring her bed-bound beauty.

Shizuma is sprawled out on her bed, lightly snoring with her covers sliding onto the floor. Nobody has entered checking for Kaori, so I assume the ones enforcing the curfew tonight most likely skipped tonight. I'm glad they did however...because it means that for the first time, there is no longer a wall or a door seperating me from her.

"Are you unable to sleep Miyuki-chan?" I hear Kaori lightly whisper, her hand brushing the left side of my face as her eyes peek open. "I'm feeling restless..." I reply back, balancing my breaths between hers while I cautiously check the door. "I...can't sleep either." She replies back, a curious look on her face as enlightened glaze develops. I can feel her fidget her legs, and then they intertwine with mine underneath the blankets. That small action causes my heart to skip a beat.

Perhaps I can't sleep because I feel the same as Kaori right now. I feel fidgety, restless, and secretly...I want to do more than just sleep by her. I let these thoughts weigh on my mind, and don't act on them. I can't do anything while Shizuma is in the same room, I feel uncomfortable. I lay in the same position, looking down, then back up to Kaori. "Miyuki-chan..." I hear her whisper again, feeling her left leg slide further so its between my knees, her hand tugging on my hair. I believe she caught on, but advances very slowly, letting me become comfortable with myself.

"...Shizuma might wake up..." I say in hesitation. Kaori peeks up and looks to her bed. "Shizuma-san...are you awake?" To my shock she asks from across the room, but the silence confirms that she is infact, not. Not even a normal volume question broke her from her sleep...so I assume we are safe.

Kaori sinks back to my bed and locks her eyes with mine, and gave me a look. That look that Shizuma gives me when she wishes to clutch me as the target of her lust. Given an innocent Kaori twist, it mixes and creates a look of innocent desire. Unlike Shizuma, Kaori advances slowly and delicately, treating me as if we switched bodies, and I was the one who needed to be treated and touched with the highest level of finesse.

I want to resist only out of habit. Having Kaori want me feels completely different than normal. I feel her fingers clutch the bottom of my top and begin to pull it up, and I freeze in place out of surprise, letting my frozen arms flop around as she pulls it over my head and I lay in my own bed in just my bra and bottoms. Each second passes by in my head like an hour, as Kaori's lusting curiosity is satiated. She does the same for herself, grabbing both of ours and tucking them underneath the pillow. I've never seen her body like is. It's so porcelain, so pale, it makes me yearn to touch her myself.

Unexpectedly, I feel her hand cup my breast as she pulls up and kisses my neck. I gasp loudly, and look behind to see if I accidentally awoke Shizuma. I didn't. I thought I might have. My attention is then readjusted by her crawling closer, pushing me, a couple of her fingers trailing the side of my arm, begging me to return the favor. I accept the offer and nervously touch her too, and feel a shiver of satisfaction from her as I do. Kaori's arms inch around me and tug on my underwear and my bra-straps, as she lays on her back and pulls me upon her, her magenta eyes twinkling past her eyelashes. "Miyuki..." I hear her longingly whisper to me as she runs her tiny fingers along my neck and chest.

I lean down and then begin to kiss her, her fingers then locking themselves along my back and pulling me down upon her until we are skin to skin. I feel her heart racing as her tongue journeys into my mouth and dances with my own, heavy breaths pushing past our lips as Kaori then begins to scratch at my underwear, her desires beginning to intensify with her breathing. I can't hold myself back anymore either, and I run my hands down to the edge of my underwear, and get ready to remove them.

"This is too cute..."

I hear Shizuma say aloud as I instantly snap my head back and look to her.

She is inquisitively staring at the both of us with a smirk, leaning her head against her hand. I instinctively grab the covers and rip them over us, only to fling them across the room and drop on the ground. "Shizuma! It's...you weren't supposed to be awake!"

"I can't believe our little Kaori is so bold. She got into your pants sooner than I did..." I blush so hard I was afraid I might have a nosebleed. Relatively unaffected by Shizuma's spying and crude teasing, Kaori is half-way between apologizing and continuing to undress me.

"I didn't mean to wake you up Shizuma...I hope you...don't feel weird..." Shizuma shakes her head. "Don't worry Kaori-san, I'm proud of the both of you, attempting to take advantage of this get together to...enhance your horizons."

I begin to turn a deeper shade of red.

"enhance my horizons?" Kaori asks out of curiosity, to which Shizuma explains; "to strip Miyuki naked and have tons of wild sex, I mean." I turn so red I think my brain might be suffocating. I am completely left without words. Dear God, Shizuma. Kaori blushes a little bit too, but it doesn't deter her from her mood. Even after this absolutely awkward intrusion on our little moment, I think she still wants to go forth with our little silver haired spectator.

"I'm...sorry Kaori...but I don't think I can continue tonight with Shizuma watching us."

"Why should you let me watching you stop your night? You both were perfectly fine with letting me listen to it." So she was pretending to be asleep from the start? You sly little demoness.

"Okay Miyuki, I understand." She admits defeat a lot easier than Shizuma does, and subdues her horomonal desires and retrieves our blanket. "Boo Kaori, don't give up that easily. You almost had her! Keep going before it's too late!" Kaori and Shizuma exchange laughter while I slink into my blanket, embarassed so much that it saps my energy enough to desire sleep.

The real night settles in finally, with our spectator fast asleep, or at least convincingly pretending to sleep, and a restless Kaori finally submitting to the night and allowing me to take refuge coiling to her body. I begin to think back to that moment where Kaori was going to go all the way. Would I have let her? I feel a side of me feel mildly resistant to the notion, but a small sliver of me regrets it.

A small sliver of me wants to wake up Kaori and maybe...try again. It's too small a sliver though, so I ignore it and sleep with my beautiful bed-mate.


	13. Chapter 13: Vita in Statera

**Miyuki**

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><p>Fearing that one of our matrons or room checkers may happen upon Kaori and me, I wake up and wriggle free from the loving clutches of Kaori and begin getting dressed. I lightly play with Kaori's hair when I am finished, trying to wake her up so I can lead her to her room. It's very early in the morning, the bottom lining of the sky glowing light blue. There shouldn't be anyone awake at this moment. She silently walks with me in the halls clutching her unraveled clothing over her chest, not fully awake and also not wishing to leave my room either. Groggy, and mildly disappointed that I won't let her stay, she tries to resist me leading her to her own room.<p>

"I was having a really nice dream..." she complains softly, laying in her bed with eyes struggling to stay open, as I pull her covers over her and push her bangs out of her face. "If somebody found you in our room they may put you on restriction...and I don't want anyone but Shizuma to find out what we did..." Kaori doesn't continue her pressing, but simply nods, letting her frail body sink into her bed, as she lets out a pained cough, a sound that makes me cringe.

I begin to get anxious about her, and wonder if anything we did could have possibly weakened her to the point where I should worry. "Kaori...I'm just going to stay in your room and make sure you sleep soundly...okay?" I can see a smile of joy come across her face upon me finishing my sentence.

"Having one of you around makes everything not hurt at night..." she says, a discomforting shiver of pain vibrating her blankets. It tempts me to join her on her bed, but I refuse. I instead take a seat on her chair and just watch her, as her covers raise and fall when she breaths, until I can feel that she is sleeping soundly. Sometimes her breathing breaks out of rhythm, a dry and scratchy breath being pulled into her lungs disrupts the silence. Not enough to wake her up, but I do see slivers of discomfort as they pass by.

When she slept in my room, she didn't do this. Was she trying to hold them back while we were around, or did we actually help her relax enough to avoid this stabbing pain? It bugged me, forgetting about how frail she is through her lapses of strength.

Later on that day, Kaori was picked up to go to the hospital once more by her doctor. When the car drove out of sight, I returned to my room and laid back down upon my bed, running my hand along the spot that she laid. The memories of the night violently surging through my head as I relive them over and over again, the adrenaline in my blood putting my mind and heart into a haze. It tires me out, and I dream of her.

Then, a knock at my door. An unfamiliar knock. "Come in." I spoke, the door creaking open as the tall figure sternly invades my room. It was one of the head-mothers of my dormitory. Strange, I don't recall needing to finish any work or chores today. She stood beside our bathroom door, giving me a very disapproving look.

"I received a call from the clinic that the student Kaori Sakuragi was submitted to, and it was reported to me by her physician that the both of you had sexual intercourse within the last 24 hours."

What?! The skin around my arms and legs tightened up so much I felt like it was going to tear, and the statement sent horrible shivers down my spine. I was hit with a bout of unbreakable silence. "From what the doctor has told me, tachycardia-like symptoms have developed and the medication they are currently giving her cannot help, and they'll have to keep her over-night to make sure if the conditions get worse they can immediately treat her. I am deeply infuriated by this Miyuki, you have over-stepped your grounds."

My fingers dug into the bed as I was reduced to a scared child, looking at the ground in shame. I didn't know what to say. There was no hiding it. I can't be angry at Kaori for telling her doctor what happened. I thought she was going to be okay...I never knew that things would come out this way.

"Miyuki, this kind of conduct is grounds for expulsion from this school, and contact with your family. I am going to talk with the others and come to a decision on your punishment." she said, turning away from me and dreadfully exiting at the door, leaving an aura of despair and urgency behind. With Kaori in dire shape, and my future at this school in dire straits, I was struck into a catatonic state of panic. The room has never felt darker than it has now. Kaori...Shizuma...what do I do?


	14. Chapter 14: Yuki to Ai

**Shizuma**

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><p>As I peddled my way down the hallway, I noticed the head-mother leaving our room. Casually shrugging it off, I darted into my room to avoid the peering eyes of the girls who were tracing the hallways in an attempt to look for me. Clumsily I staggered in and pressed the door shut. "So how's my little crybaby today? Did you get a good night's sleep?" my teasing merited no reply from the morbidly depressed girl that clung to her bed in a shivering mess.<p>

"Miyuki, are you all right?" Still no answer. When I reached out to touch her, a dreary and muffled cry poured through her pillows, and she pulled away. "Come on Miyuki, tell me what's wrong." She refused to speak loud enough for me to hear, just a depressed whisper pouring through the room and then perishing in silence. I sat next to her on the bed and reached out, and she pulled away again.

"You know this isn't going to work out well for you..." I said, still trying to prevent the mood from fragmenting any further. I pulled the pillow from her grasp and jumped upon her, grabbing her by the sides and lifting her up so we would be eye to eye. "Now tell me, what is the matter with you?"

"Kaori is going to be at the clinic over-night...I hurt her...the head-mother knew what we did...she knew we had sex..." I raised an eye-brow. "I don't think what you two did count as that. I think her facts aren't completely correct, or she was being dramatic about your night together with her..." I don't think what I said helped too much. Miyuki was still subdued.

"What did she say she was going to do? Tell your parents, kick you out...what?" Her head sank even lower and her eyes darted away from mine. It was then I knew what had her so broken. "Everything is going to be destroyed. Once my parents hear about what I did...once I am taken away from this place...I won't even be able to tell Kaori I'm sorry..."

I had a vague solution, but I wasn't sure how she would react. "Stop thinking like that Miyuki. Listen to me. I am going to talk to the head-mother. I think I can make some kind of deal with her to stop her from contacting your parents or kicking you out. Just stay here, okay?" She didn't reply, but instead pulled away and then walked over to the window, pressing her hands against it and sobbing. "I'll be back..." I told her.

"Please...don't, Shizuma...I just want to see Kaori." I turned away from the door, and looked back to her, sliding the window open. "What are you doing Miyuki? You can't just leave the premises like this, you'll just give them more reasons to kick you out." She adamantly stared outside and climbed out the window. "I don't care. I want to see Kaori again, to make sure she's okay. I'll save the school the need to contact a ride, I'll just leave this place myself." After that line she pulled herself out and lowered herself down.

I ran to the window and looked out, seeing her making a long dash across the field, more fierce and unfearing than ever. I am worried about Kaori too, but I never knew that she was willing to throw so much away just to see her again. Even if the hospital might not even let her in, or if the school contacts the truant officers that she left without permission. She's digging herself a grave...and I'm not about to let her perish in it by herself. I dash out of the window and give chase to her. I want to see Kaori too.

**Miyuki**

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><p>I had to look for the Akai Tsubasa Clinic. I remembered that is where they transported her. The symbol that is adhered to her medication bottles. I ran until the gates of Astrea Hill were behind me. Until the tree-covered roads were behind me. Until the beautiful landscape and ornamented lightposts were completely out of vision. Until I was deep within town.<p>

My legs were burning, my kidneys were tensing up, my heart was beating almost out of my chest. I leaned against the crossing light pole to catch my breath and wait for an opportunity to cross. "You don't even know where you're going..." I heard a familiar voice say.

"You didn't...have to...follow me..." I panted out, as Shizuma entered my field of vision. "You're going the wrong way. The clinic is southwest from here." She grabbed my arm and pulled me upright and began leading me down the street. "...aren't you worried they'll kick you out too?" Shizuma laughed, looking up at the sky hopefully.

"I don't see a reason to stay there if neither you or Kaori are going to be there. It would be very lonely and sad, you two are the best people I've met. I'm not going to let both of you go so easily." I could see her devotion to the both of us. I am graced to have such a devoted friend. After crossing a few streets and cutting across grassy areas behind buildings the Akai Tsubasa Clinic was just within reach.

We both entered in, and Shizuma asked for Kaori's room, telling the clinic secretary we were visiting on Miator's behalf. We were allowed in, and we walked down the sterile white hallway, and took a left into Kaori's room.

"Kaori-san, how are you feeling?" Shizuma whispered, coasting across the room and standing by her side as her sickly eyes slowly opened, a smile appearing on her pain-stricken face. I slowly appeared beside Shizuma's side, intending to reach out to Kaori, but hesitating. "Miyuki-chan...I'm sorry for telling the doctors here about what we did..." I put the possible future that might erupt behind me, and only thought about her. "Don't worry, Kaori-san. The first thing I...I..."

Holding back the fear of losing her, either in sickness or by expulsion wouldn't leave my clouded thoughts. I had to take a step back to catch my breath. "Miyuki-chan?" Shizuma gently grabbed Kaori's hand, re-assuring her. "It's going to be okay Kaori. I'll make sure the both of you are safe. Miyuki will not get kicked out, and you are going to get better. After all, I think this is all a big misunderstanding...you two didn't actually go all the way like they think you did, so perhaps there's a way I can persuade the head-mothers into not taking their full anger out on Miyuki."

Kaori nodded, giggling softly, and then looking to me. "How did you both get here?" I lifted my head up and stepped closer, getting some courage from Shizuma's statement. "I walked all the way here...and Shizuma joined me. I don't care if I get in trouble for this, I just wanted to make sure you'd be okay."

Kaori pulled herself from her bed and grabbed both of us, pulling her closer to her. "I'm glad I have the both of you in my life...nobody else would have done that for me..." Her hand tightened around Shizuma's, and she then clutched mine, a small tear pouring from her eye and she embraced us with her warmth.

We stayed there until the truant officers found the both of us, and escorted both me and Shizuma back to the dormitories, to where we faced the faculties wrath. Shizuma held her word, and in my inability to articulate my actions or words, she gracefully and powerfully persuaded them. Her charisma is a thing to behold, how she can seem so harmless and passive in one moment, and stern and well-armed in another. With her help, the misunderstanding was adjusted. I was safe from being expelled. Unfortunately, not without some form of punishment. My goals involving the Etoile position, along with the student council, were put on hiatus, and I wasn't allowed to spend any extra alone time with Kaori. The only time I could see her, Shizuma had to be present, per the head-mother's request.

The night came to a close. Both me and Shizuma were relaxing in our room together. "There is one thing that bugged me, Shizuma." I told Shizuma, who was laying on her bed across from mine fiddling with her unfolded clothing. "I've never seen Kaori as ambitious and amorous as I did that night we were together on this bed...sex or not...she wasn't herself..." Shizuma giggled, and threw he garment to the side, kicking her legs back and forth with her head in her palms, looking at me. "Just like you Miyuki, all teenager girls have desires and hormones, Kaori had hers too. When they peaked, she was taken over by them. She may seem more innocent than us, but don't forget she's just like us. When she feels touched, she'll want to touch back." I took that to heart and understood it. Shizuma was spending more time with Kaori then I got a chance to, being on restricted access around her and having a watchful eye over me at all times.

Luckily, no rumors surfaced about the incident, so the head-mothers kept it confidential. This also means my father would also not know. I wish I had what Shizuma had. Her charisma. Her beauty, her determination. She was strong when I was weak, able to fix things I would be too staggered to do alone. I wish I was Shizuma...and not me. "Shizuma, how are you so charismatic and powerful? Able to overcome so much that stands in front of what you want?"

Her eyes twinkled, and she slithered from her bed, standing before me. I raised an eyebrow, trying to anticipate her next move. "Shizuma..." I spoke again, but she hushed me with her finger, creeping closer to the bed and putting herself above me. Her hair blanketed my vision, filtering the lamp's light away. Her amaranthine eyes locked on mine, a furious ardor of desire flowing from within. "My dear Miyuki-san, when an obstacle or enemy stands in the way of what I desire, I fight harder than I normally do." She leaned to my left side and began whispering in my ear, her fingers sending a chill down my body as they pressed against my face.

"Tell me, do you still love Kaori-chan?" she whispered, looking deep into my eyes again as her legs locked around mine. "Yes...I do..." My heart was beating viciously, tremors of desire beginning to flow through my veins as Shizuma continued to lock herself around me. "Do you love Kaori-chan more than me?" she spoke. "Shizuma...I love Kaori-chan so much..." Shizuma smiled lightly, and got up, slowly making her way back to her own bed.

"Please don't stop..." I whimpered, as she laid on her own bed, looking back at me. "Come to me, then, Miyuki." I quickly scrambled from my bed and crawled onto her bed, and nuzzled against her as she embraced me. "The reason I am so charismatic is because nothing can get in the way of what I love, what I desire. I have met no enemy that could take away what I loved. No headmother, no jealous fan, and no ex-girlfriend will get in the way of the ones I love most, you and Kaori-chan." Her words were so soothing, her hands melting into my skin with ecstasy, burning away my resistance to her every move. I fell asleep in her arms that moment, awakening momentarily, wondering when she would take me, but she never did. She was fast asleep the entire time, or at least pretending to sleep so when I nested back in her chest she would look upon me and smile.


	15. Chapter 15: Initium Dilectionis

**Miyuki**

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><p>It felt like an blissful eternity that I was asleep. Cradled in the warm gentle arms of the silver-haired savior, they warded away any ache or nightmare that would crawl my way. I felt invincible when I was close to her, knowing that anything that challenged me or attempted to hurt me, she would shield me from. While many girls here gazed upon her as a trophy girlfriend, or even in some more devoted cases, a trophy wife, they never knew her past her appearance or charismatic influence. They poured their hearts, souls, money and affection upon her in an attempt to even gain a sliver of it back. Little did they know, that there were only two girls here she would ever offer a slice of that limerent ambrosia to; Me, and Kaori.<p>

We shared an affectionate bond, all three of us. While the girls at the school continued their lives, fleeting moment to fleeting moment, the time we had with that sickly beauty, that ephemeral angel, whose simple affection could cascade into the heavens and recreate universes, was valued in seconds. We don't know if she'll get better.

I pray during every prayer congregation that she would get well, that this twisted pain would be pulled from her body and she can join us in our day to day activities, the morbid fear of unconsciousness that she may not awaken from being a fear of the past. Prayer is powerful from what I've seen; Kaori's condition gives us a fright sometimes, but she appears to be getting stronger and stronger every day.

Tonight was going to be a special day for all of us, according to Shizuma. After peeling me from her chest and getting dressed, leaving me garnering the energy to rise, she patted my head, turning my head to the window so the warm sunlight would pour on my face. Similar to the effects of brisk water being splashed upon it, it stunned me into a state of awareness, forcing me to wake up and come to my senses.

She giggled as I squirmed away from the beam of light and proceeded to throw a bundle of clothes my way. "I feel like heading up to the cottage today, what say you, Miyuki-chan?" I nodded predictably, and quickly prepared myself so I could be presentable amongst the other girls that would be pouring out of their rooms in a few minutes. "Shall we go get Kaori-chan ready as well? I haven't taken her to the cottage yet, I think it would be a nice little field-trip for us." I nodded, blushing as I squeezed by her next to the door frame and glided past the girls that eagerly awaited to see their shining crush on the other side of the door.

As I walked down to Kaori's room, the calmness in my mind was interrupted for a second. "No headmother, no jealous fan, and no ex-girlfriend will get in the way of the ones I love most, you and Kaori-chan." it echoed again in my head, "the ones I love most, you and Kaori-chan." and again, "you and Kaori-chan."

That line Shizuma spoke to me left a twinge of fear in my mind, strong enough to cause me to stop mid-way in the hallway. I was to share Shizuma's heart with Kaori, and Kaori's heart with Shizuma. My entire being knows that if it was with anyone else, it could not be possible. I would get petty, defensive, and feel left out if it was anyone else I had to share. However, there was still a diminutive doubt that grew roots in my heart. The girl in the room a few feet ahead of me, might someday be Shizuma's bride, instead of me. Before a surge of uncertainty began to bleed into my being, I quickly ripped myself from the unrealistic feelings and looked forward. "Like Shizuma, I won't let become my own enemy."

I knocked on the door, and was promptly invited in by Kaori-san. "How are you doing this morning Miyuki-chan?" She faintly whispered, her bare feet pattering on the ground towards me, discoloration underneath her eyes and a faint wobble to her step being one of the few things I noticed. "Are you okay? Should I get the head-mo-"

Interrupted mid sentence, she grabbed onto my shirt and leaned against my chest, resting her cheek against my bosom. I began to panic quietly, lifting up Kaori's head to look at her face, which was a cold blank stare. Her expression however, did not show signs of any pain or discomfort. "I don't feel sick...I just...feel something different about me." She quietly spoke, trailing off a bit and then pulling herself away, gliding over to her chair to take a seat.

She proceeded to look out the window, gazing at the rising sun. "I feel like, even though I am still weak, that I am getting better." the placid look on her face turned from a state of wonder, to a state of happiness. "Can I promise...something to you Miyuki?" she said, looking to me as I walked closer and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Yes, of course you can." I nodded, as her hand rose from her side and wrapped around mine. "If you ever get sick or weak, I promise I will take care of you...and if you ever feel sad or alone, that I'll be there for you too." Tears attempted to bloom from my eyes, and I tried to hold them back the best I could out of some need to appear strong. It was okay if I cried though. Kaori knew that we can't always be strong, that we can't pretend to be indestructible and invincible forever. Sometimes, feeling weak is okay. Feeling like things are out of your control is okay.

It was a very tender moment, a sweet moment. A moment that I would have last forever if it could...until we both heard the excitement of girls muttering and squeeing in the hallways, and both of us instantly said "Shizuma's coming in" and proceeded to laugh in-synch. She glided through the door in a golden sundress, closing the door behind her.

"I think one of them tried to steal a strand of my hair..." she muttered, holding the door shut in case any of them were adamant enough to try and slip in after her. "So, Kaori-chan, what do you think?" She said, twirling about in her dress proudly with her hands raised in the air. "You look beautiful in it Shizuma-sama...not saying you don't look beautiful without it...ummm, I meant..." Both me and Shizuma chuckled as Kaori stumbled on her words a bit.

"No need to worry honey. Do the both of you have dresses of your own? I want to go visit the cottage for the night, and I'm bringing you both with me." I remembered I had my blue sheathe dress that I have been waiting to wear. Kaori quickly scampered to her dresser, pulling a black dress with a pink lining out for all of us to see. "That's so cute, almost everything matches." Shizuma grinned.

**Shizuma**

* * *

><p>I was expecting the walk to the cottage to cause Kaori to weaken, or show signs of fatigue, but strangely enough, she out-paced both me and Miyuki. "You don't need to rush hun, the stars will still be there even if we take our time." I told her, reluctant from restraining her new-found energy, but not ignorant to the possibility of its sudden decline. She grinned back at me, and stuck her tongue out "Maybe if all that hair was more aerodynamic, you'd be able to keep up." Triggering a grin from me, I sped up and matched her pace, laughing and playing with her as she continued briskly. Following behind was Miyuki, but with less moxie and stamina.<p>

I could tell that there was something on her mind. Something she didn't tell me, but knowing Miyuki, it could have been very many things. Her mind is a labyrinth, and I get lucky far too often when I attempt to guess what she is thinking about. She thinks of me as a telepathic that can read her every move, but she could become completely alien to me if she wanted to.

I think it would be best to leave her to her thoughts. She doesn't seem stressed out, and doesn't appear to look like she's feeling left out. She looked up from her blank stare at the roadside and looked up to me. For just a single second, it looked like she was in pain. Before I could analyze what pain she was trying to show me, a cheerful smile replaced it, and the moment was gone as quickly as it appeared.

I slowed my pace and took the middle between Kaori and Miyuki, wedging my hand into hers and tugging her along until all of us were skipping along through the verdant sanctuary, to the cottage above the hill.

When we made it to the cottage, I unlocked it, and we prepared ourselves for a small meal, waiting for the sun to fall behind the clouds and allow the stars to reveal themselves and bloom in the darkness of night like prismatic flowers. Without the light pollution that the surrounding areas provided, we should be able to see the stars more clearly. This would be one of the first times Kaori would be able to gaze upon these stars in so long.

As night settled in the sky and the sun was inches from being consumed by the horizon, Kaori happily rushed out the door. "I'll be going!" she shouted out, as Miyuki and I followed cautiously outside, hoping she doesn't trip or burn herself out before she reaches her destination.

"Wait! Kaori!" I cried out to her, throwing a bright red blanket over my arm and running after her, Miyuki closing the door behind us and calling out "Wait up, the two of you!" She got a very good lead on us, rushing through the autumn brown grass ahead, before stopping to regain her breath at the top of the hill. "Are you okay?" I said, grabbing onto her hands to warm her chilly fingers. "We're almost there." She nodded ever-so-slightly, still breathing heavily. Then, I took her hand in mine and walked with her the rest of the way. I heard Miyuki's footsteps stop for a brief moment, before she followed us distantly to our destination.

It was the fence that bordered the cottage, surrounded by the thick and prosperous forest that kept the winds away. I have visited this place many times, but this was both Miyuki and Kaori's first time coming here with me. I wrapped Kaori in the blanket and she hopped up on the fence, and all of us began to stare into the sky, watching as the sun inched away, and the stars began their universal performance, peering from the sky to show themselves while the crickets all around sang songs to each other.

"They're so pretty." Kaori said to us, her soft face looking higher to gaze at the sight that she had been denied for many years, that the walls of hospitals and wards have hidden from her for so long. She was hypnotized by the sight, her gorgeous eyes widening to take as much as possible in. "That's right...It would be even more romantic if we'd see a meteor shower..." I spoke aloud in an attempt to further romanticize the moment, before being followed by Miyuki with "Stop ruining the atmosphere."

Unaffected by the comments, Kaori peered into the skies continuously. "But, the starry sky is really beautiful." Miyuki nodded and looked to her. "I remember three summers ago, at this time, reports said we could see the Perseids meteor shower." I did recall that, for it was the shower that I said I would take Miyuki to see. "It's still too early." "That's a shame." she spoke, joining in Kaori's stargazing.

"I don't know if I'll still be here by then..." Kaori spoke, putting a grisly thought in my head. One that I shook away immediately, knowing that she is getting better, and that those morbid possibilities will soon be in the past. I turned to her with confidence, "Of course you will."

She looked back to me with the eyes that peered at the stars with such reverence, and then began to revere me. They swelled with admiration and hope, "But...definitely. I'm happier now." Seeing her put aside her negative feelings and then focus on something with such adoration made my heart swell. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled closer, and joined her in looking up into the stars.

With the warmness of her body, and knowing that I have brought her a true happiness made the sight more memorable than it was before, when I gazed upon them alone. For that moment, the stars were ours. That my love for such a girl could be as infinite and expansive as the very thing we see above us.

It began to get later, and Miyuki insisted that it was time to return to the school. All of us packed our belongings and proceeded to go back. As we walked along the starlit road and to the school, I peered past the trees to the trail that led to my special spot. Covered in shadows by the other trees and hidden away by the walls of the dormitories, it was a place I could escape and be alone, and take a break from the world. It was another place that I wanted to take Kaori, and make our own. When the world became too much on her, and when it pressed on her mind, she could always find me there and take as long as she needed to recuperate.

As we got closer to the school, Kaori's hand grabbed onto mine, her chilly fingers seeking the warmth of my hand, and they stayed locked to mine until we reached the hallway. Miyuki and I entered our room, and she walked to her room, stopping and turning around to look to me. When she saw that I was also looking back, the sparkle in her eyes came back, and she vanished into her room.

As I sat on my bed, I could still feel the spot on my hand where her fingers seeked warmth, and an energy flowed in me that exponentially increased. Miyuki was at her desk writing silently, before she broke it by asking a question.

"Shizuma-san...would it be okay if I could sleep next to you again, tonight?" My eyes lowered as I thought to myself about the amorousness of Miyuki. She was finally getting courageous, and I found it sweet. "Sure, Miyuki-san, what brought about this?" she continued facing away from me as I awaited her answer. "You made me happier too, since we've met." I could sense how much energy that took for that reply. However, the way she said it triggered thoughts of Kaori in my mind. I shuddered a bit, my pulse rising a bit higher as I remembered her eyes.

They were hypnotizing, devout, and undeniably sweet. I wanted to see them again. "I'm going to Kaori's room, I believe I forgot my blanket there." She nodded, not turning from her writing, and I made my way out of the door, silently to Kaori's room.

I slowly opened Kaori's door, to see her staring out the window in her nightgown. When I shut the door silently behind me, she looked to see me, and those eyes looked lovingly back at me. "Shizuma-sama..." she said, as I closed the distance between us. Without missing a beat, she stood up, and I wrapped myself around her small frame and brought her closer to me, so I could look to that amatorious face. Lips puckered waiting for a kiss, eyelashes shrouding her rosen eyes, a heavy blush growing in her cheeks as she shivered at my touch.

"Can you take me to see the stars again, Shizuma-sama?" she spoke, shuddering in her voice, as I could feel her heart racing almost as fast as mine. Like a rhythmic dance our hearts shared their pulsing against each other's skin, and she silently begged me to kiss her. Every nerve in my body was yearning for her, screaming at my hands to move along her chest, the trembles of lust begging me to lay her on the bed and envelop it, stimulate it, to drive her into ecstasy until we can't move anymore. I wanted her so badly, my hands were tightening up.

I had to resist for now, just long enough to satisfy her simple request. "I have a spot that I want to share with you, a place where you can see the stars in peace, away from this window, within the forest." She smiled and pulled herself closer to me, placing her face between my breasts and snuggling them close.

We sneaked from the dormitory this night, tip-toeing through the hallways and squeezing through the emergency exit. I helped her climb over the large brick fence that bordered the school, throwing my bag over and letting Kaori regain her balance.

We walked through the trails between the trees, hand in hand, until we made it to my spot, a solitary tree in the opening of the forest. The sight that Kaori saw nearly brought her to tears, as she gazed lovingly at the brilliant full moon, right above us with the stars decorating the night sky. It was a gorgeous sight even for me, who looks at these stars on a regular basis. She shuddered in happiness from beneath the red blanket, joining me in the sights of the night.

My hand reached out for hers, and it found its way to hers. I led her to lean against the tree with me, to see the immeasurable beauty that was before me, illuminated by the moonlight, prepossessing beauty that ensnared my attention and bound my heart to her in that moment.

I placed my hand on her back and pulled her in close, and it was like her every dream had come true. She closed her teary eyes and met her lips with mine, as we shared a kiss that enchanted me to a state of captivation.

Our hands locked tight, or eyes sealed shut, our lips fused together, and then our passions were set aflame when our heartbeats climaxed. We descended to the ground upon the red blanket that covered the ground, and our passion reached uncontrollable levels, as we traded amorous kisses.

Her hands glided lovingly across my breasts, peeling my underwear down as she nibbled on my neck. I ran my fingers through her night-black hair and enthusiastically ran my hands down her moonlit body, pulling away the barriers of gown that hid her most sensitive areas. Every nerve in my body was screaming in pleasure, as her gentle, small, hands prodded and clenched my body, as I set free her lustfulness, letting her squirm across the ground in an ardor of pleasure.

Her sultry touches began to drive me crazy, when she turned the tables and left me twisting on the ground, struggling to regain control from her passionate touch. She made me thresh with every touch, and what control I had was devoted to making her do the same. I could feel our exhilaration reaching an apex together, we were almost there.

She cried out with a whine that resonated throughout the forest, the tightness of her fingers sending a surge of climactic force into me, leaving me to burst out in uncontrolled moaning, losing control of my thoughts, feeling, my very being.

In that moment we were one, that every single cell in our bodies was crying out for each other. It was a feeling I never replicated myself, It was heavenly, pure, and immeasurable.

What control I had left over my body reached out to the quivering Kaori, who lay naked across from me, breathing heavily from just my touch. I pulled her as close to me as I could, letting the rising of her chest send chills down my spine, as she clutched my breast and pulled herself close, being put into an ecstasy submission.

"I love you, Shizuma-sama..." whispered Kaori. "I love you too, Kaori-sama." I said back to her. I held her hand and placed my arm around her, running my fingers through her hair as we laid together, letting the warm mid-summer night air blanket our bound bodies, letting this night remain our little eternity.

**Miyuki**

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><p>I locked my arms around my legs and sat on my bed, staring at her empty bed. I sat this way all night, waiting for Shizuma to come back to me. I could only imagine what they would be doing. Even if I admitted to myself I would not feel jealous, not feel secondary because of this, enduring the feelings of being unwanted were nearly impossible. This weight in my heart is so much to bear, too much to hold by myself. I wish somebody would come to me tonight, and let me know that I am not alone...<p>

...but nobody came for me. I closed my tear-worn eyes, and waited for my dreams to disassociate me from this world.


	16. Chapter 16: Dazing Aftermath

**Shizuma**

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><p>The vivid magenta and luscious orange light that crawled above the horizon gave a blanket of warmth that awoke me from my slumber. I opened my eyes and peered down, seeing the faultless porcelain beauty that I cradled in my hands, breathing with a gentle rhythm, bangs shadowing her eyes from the rising sun. Her legs and thighs guarded by the red blanket from the cold and the prickles of the grass.<p>

I nudged my dormant beauty awake, running my hand across her face to awaken her. "Come on, we don't want you catching a cold out here." She huffed in disagreement and wiggled deeper in the mess of red blanket. As adorable as she was, I knew staying out here before morning room checks would cause more problems. Using what strength that remained in my body, along with the adrenaline still lingering in me, I scooped Kaori up the best I could, lifting her up in my arms and carrying her to the stone wall myself. After gathering our clothes and maneuvering through the thicket of trees, I saw the door to our dormitory, and the completion of our romantic rendezvous.

That was, complete if the head-mother did not catch us in our hallway, precariously dressed, with hands locked tight together. "Hanazono Shizuma! Sakuragi Kaori! Do you know how many rules you have violated in this little outing of yours?" The bellowing of the mature woman caused stirring in our dormitory wing, doors with concerned and curious girls to poke out from behind their doors to view us. While Kaori began to get nervous, I shielded her from the view of others and clutched her hand tightly. The head-mother immediately noticed, looking down at our bound hands and then back to the hallway filled with peeking girls.

"I don't understand what you are talking about, ma'am." I spoke, attempting to get her to focus on me and not Kaori. While I know they do nightly room checks, I made sure we never missed ours. There was something amiss going on. "You went missing for an entire night, and we would have never known what might have happened if it wasn't for your room mate Miyuki Rokujyo..." she trailed on about her discussion, but it did not matter.

A fervent mistrust began to boil in my heart, and I looked to our door, and found those shock-struck golden eyes peering from underneath her hair. I locked eyes with her, attempting to scour her motives from her facial expression. She attempted to hide her intent, but I already had sensed that she knew where I was. I was with Kaori, and she wanted to get me in trouble over it. She wasn't concerned where I was, she knew exactly.

"Shizuma quit ignoring me and pay attention. You are to release Kaori Sakuragi immediately and return to the disciplinary office for your consequences." commanded the head-mother, irritated and aware of me and Miyuki's staring match. I began to release my grip from Kaori's hand and submit to the authority of the matron, until I felt it.

Kaori was afraid. While I have gotten into trouble on a constant basis and have talked my way out of serious repercussions, I knew her charisma was not as great as mine. If it was not the intimidating nature of the staff that would demoralize her, it would be the unrelenting badgering of the girls here. They would pry her for information on her relationship, attempt to convey their motives against her, make her doubt herself. I would have none of that either.

"head-mother, I have to respectfully decline your proposal."

"What?" she asked, flabbergasted, surprise coming from the faces of the girls that viewed me from their door frames, along with Miyuki's.

I turned around and ran my hand along Kaori's face. "It's going to be okay, they're not bringing you anywhere I can't go." she smiled, the nervous aura pouring from around her body calming down, and she, exhaustively and filled with tenseness, clutched my body and hugged me, ambiguous tears of either happiness or calming rolling down her eyes.

"If you are going to punish me, then so be it, but I'd rather fall to my death from the top of this school, than let this angelic girl suffer for my actions." I stayed adamant to my words and stared at the head-mother, refusing to back down to her commands and actions. Nothing would lead me away from Kaori.

Then, moving to the middle of the hallway, I pulled Kaori close to me and gave her a kiss on the lips where everyone could see. "I am neither ashamed, or apologetic for anything I've done with this girl, and for this girl. She is perfect, and should be treated as so!"

Miyuki, feeling my contempt for her actions, turned away, and retreated to the room after my display. The head-mother slapped her hands together, ordering the other students to return to their rooms. Afterward, she pointed Kaori to her room, and I walked down the hallway with her to the disciplinary room to await my punishment.

"Shizuma, we've had many a problem with you since your arrival to the school. While the majority of your midnight excursions with the other residents of the school have been either low-risk or questionable at best, this most recent one has forced us to add even more rules to our future rulebooks. We put emphasis on this for a reason." I considered my situation for a moment, scouring my memory banks for a response that would take the heat off of me and Kaori, and possibly lessen any punishments that would be distributed against me. I instead took a deep breath, letting the pressure run off my shoulders and pass me by.

"There is nothing you can do to me that would make me consider obeying the rules over making that beautiful and frail girl feel like this school is her heaven, and I am her guardian angel." The headmother slammed her fist against the desk and stared at me in a mire of anger.

"Guardian angels do not sneak off the grounds and take advantage of other students! Nor do they take advantage of the ailing and dying!"

"I did not take advantage of her!" I screamed out, matching her ferocity with mine, not ready to back down or let her sinister words attempt to challenge me. "Go ahead! Condemn me to the laundry room! Force a year of janitorial on me! kick me out of this school, but don't you dare accuse me of taking advantage of Kaori Sakuragi!"

"If word of your actions ever spread beyond the girls dormitory, and believe me, I do know they can with the way these girls discuss these topics, this school could possibly be shut down, or lose the funding to keep the girls staying here. "

"It would have never spread out if you didn't come looking for me or ambush me and Kaori in the hallway." After my response the head-mother quickly rebutted. "I wouldn't have had to ambush you if you were not breaking the rules. If you think having Kaori Sakuragi losing her right to stay here, along with over 300 other girls, is worth your midnight visits, then so be it. I'll inform them why they have to go home, because Shizuma Hanazono refused to keep her emotions and desires under control, and made the entire school pay for her actions."

I thought about a response, but turned away from her and slumped into my seat in anger, remembering the whole reason I was even caught to begin with. Rokujyo Miyuki. It was time for me to admit defeat to the head-mother, for she was not my enemy. Even if she is right, they would have never known if it wasn't for that girl. That untrustworthy girl. That...traitor.

The head-mother assigned me to a sentence of 6 months of janitorial duty for my actions. It would have been 3 months, but I refused to let her punish Kaori for what I did, and took it all on myself. 2 hours of my day devoted to cleaning meant less time in the greenhouses, but if that's the way it has to be then I didn't mind. It just gave me an excuse to sneak into Kaori's room and evade unwanted classes.

Time for worrying about that would come later. Right now, I was concerned with dealing with one person only. I walked up the stairway and down the hallway, hearing the creaking of the boards behind my room's door. Miyuki was still awake, and from the sound of the boards, she was on her side of the room. I opened the door and walked in. Her clothes were scattered about the ground, and she was sitting on her bed, her arms locked around her legs, hair messy, with lines under her eyes as if she was awake all night. She looked up to me, and her hands tightened, straining themselves against her knees.

She opened her mouth, but said nothing. A mix of disappointment, sadness and anger swirled from her appearance, as she struggled to let out the words she planned to say since I was gone.

"You forgot your blanket..." she strained to say, a near-crying tone emitting from her throat, but still muddled with bitterness. She pulled a red blanket from behind her, the scent of Kaori all over it, stimulating my senses and sending a shiver of passion down my spine upon noticing it, before it faded away, and Miyuki threw it at my bed. It slipped down and fell underneath, as she glared at me, scouring my body in an attempt to find an answer in my body language.

"You had sex with her didn't you?" she accused me, tightening her arms and taking deeper breaths. "It's none of your business." I replied, dismissing her anger and reaching out for the blanket. She stood up on her bed and jumped down, letting her feet slam down hard on the wood and echo throughout. "Is there something wrong with me? I was right here for you...I wanted you..." She cried out in anger, walking closer to me and staring at me face to face, the intensity in her voice rising. "I was only 3 steps away from you...and you rejected me." I peered into her eyes as well, reaching out to her face, only to have my hand violently pushed away. "Why should you care now, when you didn't care last night. I was still thinking about you, even when you were sleeping with someone else..."

"Stop acting like you're my girlfriend Miyuki." I commanded her, which only caused her to tighten up even more, her golden eyes taking on a more intense glare that could cut stone. "Well of course, and neither is Kaori! What am I even getting mad about!" She yelled, an ambiguously pained laugh following. "When another girl comes along, she'll end up just like me, won't she? Tossed aside when you mean the world to them, believing that you are special, only to have you change your mind!" She grimaced and opened her hand, revealing her fingernails in an tightened open-hand gesture.

I noticed her hands and held out my own to ready myself against any scratching. "Kaori isn't like that for me, Miyuki. I'm not going to forget about her or leave her behind! She means the world to me!"

Her hands flew through the air, sharp nails digging into my arm that I held out to block my face as she screamed out in anger. "Then what about me!? Did I ever mean the world to you?! Was I ever special!?" High pitched crying and screaming followed, a teary eyed Miyuki unleashing a rage I have never seen before, with an intensity I have never felt.

"What if I wanted to be your girlfriend!? I waited every day for you to bring me to the forest and you never did! Am I not beautiful enough?! Am I not devoted enough!?" I saw an opening in Miyuki's attack and I lifted her from me, and pushed her onto her bed, holding her clawing hands down in frustration while I sat down atop of her to stop her kicking.

"Get off me you witch! You wretch! I hate you!" I got blinded by anger as well, my hair curtaining her face and focusing her to look into my eyes. "Why do you care what I did with Kaori?! Why did you report me to the head-mother!? I wasn't lost at all! You just wanted to get me punished for not being with you!" I screamed, the strength in her arms lessening as tears painfully erupted from her eyes. "Why would you make me feel like we would spend a special night together when you were thinking about spending it with somebody else!? Why not just tell me no!? Why didn't you just tell me you didn't want to!? Why did you just..." her voice trailing away as she gasped out, crying erupting as she lost all her fighting strength.

"Why didn't you just take me instead of her..." I never had an answer to that question. I didn't have any answers to her questions. It was because she was right. I pushed her away to go for Kaori, and never considered how she would feel.

"Even when you hold me down so I don't hurt you...I feel like I'm special to you..." Miyuki cried out, as I released my grip and sat up on the bed. She stirred, moving away from me to look at the wall and cry. I put my hand on her side, and tried to think of something to say to her, to comfort her. Her response was to grab my arm and push it away.

"No more..." she cried out. I sat there for around ten minutes, as she quietly sobbed, and I thought about everything I did to her, and how I threw away everything for Kaori Sakuragi without even considering how Miyuki would feel. I was disgusted by myself when I realized how little remorse I felt, even now when I knew what I did. I wanted Kaori, so much that even leaving Miyuki behind didn't bother me one bit. I felt sickened, and I stood up and decided to leave the room. I looked out to her before leaving the room. Miyuki never budged. So I closed the door behind me, and wandered the halls to think about what I have done.

**Miyuki**

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><p>Shizuma was gone for awhile after the fight. I didn't have the energy to move anymore. Every fiber in my being was shivering in pain, and many words reigned supreme within my mind. "If I would have just been brave enough to make a move, she would have been mine." "She never wanted me to begin with." "Even if she was my girlfriend, she would have wanted Kaori." "I couldn't have either with my future. I am destined to be married with somebody else."<p>

I hate Shizuma Hanazono. I love Shizuma Hanazono. I wish I could have her and Kaori both, but will have neither. There is no future of mine where we can be together. She should have never made me feel like I could have been with her. I pulled my pillow towards my chest and hugged it, trying to clear my mind of invasive thoughts. Thoughts of Shizuma and Kaori naked together. Shizuma and Kaori leaving the school together. Shizuma and Kaori kissing, and Shizuma whispering 'I love you' to her. Running her fingers through her hair like she did mine, nuzzling her neck like she did mine.

Caring about her, like she did me.


	17. Chapter 17: Rimeiku no Ai

**Miyuki**

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><p>Even when I thought about forgiving her, when I felt I should apologize for things I've done, the thoughts came ripping through my soul. Shizuma and Kaori locked together in a passionate ardor. Making love in the distance together, exchanging kisses and vitalizing within a love I could never have for myself. After devoting my heart and soul to break away from the feelings of dejection, I had no energy left to even consider talking to Shizuma. The melancholy that followed, which seemed to last forever, was broken in a single moment.<p>

I was walking along the cobbled walkways to the school, trapped in my state of disassociation. The flowers seemed less colorful to me, the smell of the grass and trees was numb to me, the warm winds felt dry and undesirable. Then, I looked up to the dormitory from underneath the tree I was hidden along. Kaori was at her window, sitting and staring off into the distance with a content and happy smile on her face. I saw her eyes slowly focus on me, and she waved at me, as if she wanted me to come up to her room. I waved back, and accepted the invitation.

With haste I heard her footsteps reach the door, and she invited me into her room. She was giggling, beaming from one side of the room to the next, I never saw her so vitalic before, so happy. She glowed with the soul of a girl who found true love. "yesterday was amazing, don't you think?" she spoke to me, opening her curtains as I hid a cringing feeling within me. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself at the cottage, and the stars as well."

"Miyuki, can I tell you a secret? Abo-" she whispered to me, accidentally tripping over a small pile of clothes and reeling towards me. I caught her in my arms, and looked to her. We both giggled, and I helped her back to her feet. "As I was sayi-" over the same clothing that tripped her, she tumbled over again, falling on her butt.

"I'm going to pick up your clothes, if that's okay." I said, helping her up to her feet and leading her to the chair as I put clothes away in the hamper, taking notice of what articles they were. They were the clothes she wore yesterday night, but I noticed a couple familiar articles in them. They were mixed with Shizuma's as well. "Don't think about it" I whispered to myself.

"Yeah, I forgot I was going to tell you...about a secret thing." she said softly, rocking back and forth on the chair looking to me. "Shizuma took me out to see the stars again last night." She said, a dreamy illusory state beginning to take hold. I continued as if I wasn't aware of the situation last night. "Oh, that's where Shizuma was..." She looked at the ground guiltily "Sorry we didn't bring you, it was..."

She started to blush. "You were probably worried...didn't know where Shizuma was and got worried. The head-mother caught us coming back in though...and she got in trouble." she put her hands on her face trying to treat her blushing face. I patted her on the head to let her know she didn't have to continue. "No need to worry Kaori-san. You just wanted to see the stars again, there's nothing to feel shy or bad about." I don't know why I'm fibbing about this. Does she know I was the one that got them caught? Does she know that what happened last night was mutual knowledge? I walked over to the window, looking over to the wall where Shizuma always sneaked over. That I always wanted to run away with her to. That little grove that she keeps all to herself.

She giggled to herself a bit, and looked over to me "She's still in the disciplinary room for last night, she went in to cover for me too...I wonder if they'll find out about-" she hesitated and blushed again.

"I see." I said calmly to her, nodding my head. "Looks like Shizuma might have to be honest for once." I looked back to that wall, into the forest, my heart beginning to sink.

Then I noticed Kaori putting her hands on my arms, leaning her head against my back as I stared from the window.

"Kaori-san?"

"Rokujyo-san..."

"Before I came here I was so weak that I couldn't even leave my room. Before coming to Miator, I...thought I didn't exist in this world. I thought I wasn't alive." her head sank deeper into the back of my dress, her little hands gripping tighter as I felt her breath against my back. "but after I started living here, I was released from the other world." My finger against the glass started to sweat, as I looked blankly into the mirror, processing every soft word this girl said to me. "Thank you, for letting me meet Shizuma." The guilt in my heart began to fade.

I reached over to her, putting her hand in mine.

"You're welcome." I put the anger and sadness away I had for Shizuma, the jealousy, the bitterness, and decided to move forward. The fact that Kaori is happy is all that mattered to me right now.

"I'm very happy too."

It wasn't until later in the evening that I met up with Shizuma again, next to the balcony with the piano. She was strumming different keys, intently focusing on all of the sounds that were made, and then stopped when she noticed me coming to her. She closed her eyes, standing up and pushing in the chair. She locked her eyes on me, studying my movements, probably preparing for another emotional barrage.

"I'm not sure what you want me to do, Miyuki-san." Shizuma told me, keeping up her defenses against me.

"I just...want you to forgive me." I said, looking to her, trying to match my eyes to her evasive look.

"Forgive you?" I nodded. "What I did last night...now that I look at it from the eyes of Kaori...I feel like a horrible person...I shouldn't have gotten you in trouble. I shouldn't have let my desires and feelings overcome me, I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I-"

The rest of my sentence was muffled into Shizuma's clothing as I noticed she was hugging me. "I will always forgive you, Miyuki. Don't think I ever want to push myself away from you. Even if it feels like we are fighting, I want to let you know you'll always forgive you."

I nodded, anything I wanted to say nullified in her clothes. We walked back to the dorm room, getting ready to go to bed. As I was going into my room, I looked over to Kaori's door, noticing her peek out slightly. She looked to me with her magenta eyes, and grinned, going back into her room as quietly and elegantly as she peeked out. When I enter the room, I notice a platter of tea for two set up on the table, labeled for me and Shizuma. We looked at each other, smiled, and partook in Kaori's gift to us.


End file.
